Welcome to LiP Blog - John Grant

Well, another day, another “welcome” post! We are adding one more writer today on the Live in the Philippines blog, and his name is John Grant. I met John at the Friend of Mindanao, an organization that I have been attending here in Davao. John is originally from the United Kingdom, and a great guy! I consider John to be a close friend, although we’ve only known each other for a couple of months now.

The first time I met John at the FOM meeting, he was the speaker that day, and when I heard his speech, I was surprised at how much our lives mirrored each other! We had both been involved in similar businesses in the past in our respective countries, and also at similar ages. I have been spending a fair amount of time with John. We always say we are getting together so I can show him how to do blogs or websites or whatever, but it seems we always end up spending most of our time just enjoying intelligent conversation, each other’s ideas and such.

Welcome aboard, John! I see you already made a post on the blog. I’m sorry I was late in recognizing you on the blog!

Back together

Today’s Guest Column is from Kevin Smith.

Thanks Bob for giving me the opportunity to contribute to your blog. My wife, Jaycee, and I were married in Digos, Philippines back in 2004. Shortly after, I came back to the states to return to work. I went back for Christmas vacation the same year for two weeks to visit my wife. It was very difficult leaving her as she was pregnant with our first child. On my third trip in 2005, I took a leave from work to go back to Mindanao and be with her and the birth of our daughter and to wait for all the immigration paperwork to be completed.

My big travel day arrived. In total, it took about twenty-two hours to get to Digos from Pennsylvania. I remember getting off the plane at Davao International and going outside and looking for my family. It was very warm and humid and the sun was burning my eyes as it seemed very bright. My sister-in-law and brothers-in law and niece were there to take me back. My wife was home with her other sister as she was ready to give birth at any time. We took the hour long taxi ride back to Digos. which cost 500 pesos, about $10.00.

We were so happy to be back together at last. We had our own room next to the kitchen. It was a small blue house with two bedrooms and a blue concrete wall and iron grate all around. It was small and privacy was at a minimum with eight people now living there. Since my wife couldn’t come back with me last time, I was going to move her to her own apartment in town. I think the rent there was about 7,000 pesos/month at the time. But, instead, mom said it would be ok if I renovated some of the kitchen and made it into another bedroom. And that’s what I did the previous year. It was a good decision as my wife was with her family to help take care of her while I was away.

It takes a few days to get adapted to the time change as the Philippines is twelve hours ahead of Pa. time. They are thirteen hours ahead during daylight savings time. After three days, I was finally able to sleep at night and stay awake during the day. But that’s when my wife said we needed to go to the hospital as the baby is coming.

A Few Words About Myself

by Louis Tamasi

I want to thank Bob for giving me the opportunity to share my experiences of living in Davao through his blog. I am 33 years old and like most Americans I was stuck in a day to day living cycle with a dead end job. For many years I had been helping to take care of my mother who had Lupus and it is a truly unbelieveable pain watching the ones you love slowly succomb to a debilitating illness. My mother passed away on August 15th, 2006 and while I knew she was in a better place, it left me with an empty sadness now that she was gone. Fate however had much more in store for me because in November I met Venice on MySpace. She is 26 years old and I found that she was living in Davao, Philippines. Now interestingly enough I already had a good knowledge of the Philippines thanks to a Filipino history teacher in High School and a friend that had been to Cebu 2 times in the past. Venice and I talked for 3 months and I made my first trip over here in Januany. I was immediately impressed with the pace of life over here and the generosity of the Philippine people. Many things are still done by hand and the way things are done have not changed much over the years. It was like a step back in time for me, quite a treat for someone as interested in history as I am. When I met Venice in person it was love at first sight. I knew she was the girl for me and that she would love me more than anyone I could find back in the USA. What was supposed to be a 1 month stay turned into a 3 month vacation and on February 15th I asked her to marry me. It was a wonderful time for me, marred only by a bout with Dengue Fever. At the end of my stay I knew I wanted to come back over here to stay and raise a family. I spent a month back in the US to tie up some loose ends and now here I am to stay. This past month has been spent planning and getting together the endless paperwork needed to marry over here, but now all that is done and the date is set, July 10th! I am excited and nervous at the same time. Needless to say my first few blogs will be about love and marriage here in the Philippines. It is quite a different experience and a different culture but it is now my adopted home and she has welcomed me with open arms.

Another welcome: Kevin Smith

We have yet another Blog Author joining us here at LiP Blog! His name is Kevin Smith. Kevin currently lives in the USA, but did spend 7 months living in Digos in 2005. He also has plans to retire in the Philippines at some point in the future. Another interesting tidbit is that Kevin has started a Nonprofit organization called “Southern Philippines Children’s Shelter, Inc.”

I would like to welcome Kevin, and I am looking forward to reading some of his interesting stories coming soon on the LiP Blog!

Welcome to new author, Louis Alexander Tamasi

I would like to announce that another new author will be joining us here on the LiP blog! His name is Louis Alexander Tamasi, and he will start writing here very soon. I am sure that you’ve seen some of Louis’ comments here on the blog in the past, he has been a frequent participant in commenting on the posts here in the blog. Louis is currently living in Davao City, but has only been here for 6 months, so he is a fairly new resident of the Philippines.

Welcome aboard, Louis! I look forward to reading your posts, and getting to know you better!

A step towards patience

Over the past few days, the discussion here on the LiP Blog has really turned toward Filipino time, patience, and adjustment to the Filipino way of handling our lives.  I said in comments and in my posts over the last couple of days that it is my goal to learn how to be more patient, give up on strict scheduling, and generally live a more stress free life because of these changes.  Yesterday, I decided to make a first step on the effort.

As you all know, I’ve lived in the Philippines for over 7 years now.  In that time, I have only gone grocery shopping maybe 2 or 3 times.  It didn’t take long for me to realize that grocery shopping was quite stressful for me here, and I simply did not have the patience needed for it.  The lines are long.  The cashiers are slow.  It just never was for me.  When I went grocery shopping, I would get aggrevated, angry…. generally just downright mad!  For my own well being, and for the sanity of Feyma, I decided not to ever go grocery shopping again.  I just let her handle it.

Well, as part of my stated goal of gaining more patience and understanding, I decided to go the grocery store yesterday.  I went alone, just to see if I could do it without getting bent out of shape.  I went to SM Grocery Store here in Davao.  I decided to shop for fruits there.  I went to the produce area, and found lots of fruits there that I had honestly never seen before.  I picked up some Longon, Golden Dragon Fruit, Lychee, Ponkan (Mandarin Oranges), Lemons and Granny Smith Apples.   I was wanting to buy some Guyabano Fruit that I saw there.  I didn’t know how to choose a good Guyabano, though, so I asked the clerk to help me.  He looked over the fruit, and told me that it was not yet ripe, and would be ready in about two days.  I chose not to buy any.

When I went to the checkout to pay, there were many people waiting in line at all the lanes.  I finally found one lane that had only two customers ahead of me, so I got in line.  The cashier was indeed slow, as I remembered from my previous shopping experiences, but I was OK!  I guess it took about 15 minutes before it was my turn to checkout.  I stood there waiting patiently, just watching the other customers, and seeing the different items that others were buying.  I actually found it entertaining to watch to see what others were buying, because it was a new cultural experience for me.  Even though I’ve been living here for some time, I had not been shopping much, so I didn’t take that part of the culture in.

After I finished paying for my purchase, I wished the checkout girl a good afternoon, and went on my way!  I felt good.  I made it through the shopping experience without blowing my top.  I didn’t yell at anybody.  I actually had a good time!

Maybe I can make the adjustment to being patient and appreciate life a little more!

Why My Family and I Moved To The Philippines

by Julius Bantigue

Hi. My name is Julius P. Bantigue (www.philippinevoyager.com). I would like to thank Bob Martin for giving me the opportunity to post on his blog. Although Bob and I have never met in person, I feel that we have known each other for a long time because of the similarities of our views and experiences. You see, we both used to live in the states, but are now living and raising our respective families in the Philippines. Bob and I both have our personal reasons for leaving the states and moving to the Philippines. But I think Bob will agree with me that one of the important reasons why we did it is for our families.

Bob mentioned in one of the previous posts from his blog that he has a mentally handicapped child named Chris. Bob felt he could get more care and attention for Chris here in the Philippine than in the United States. I agree. The states have a lot of excellent programs for special needs children than the Philippines. What is missing, however, is the personal touch. Life has gotten too fast, politically correct, and insensitive in the states’ health care industry, that most patients and families feel they are only viewed as another addition to the revenue. On the surface, most health care professionals project a warm smile and professional demeanors. However, beneath the shiny exterior, the patients and their families cannot help but made to feel that they are treated as just another paying customers with their own demands and complaints. I am not saying that it does not require money for Bob’s son to be cared for in the Philippines. On the other hand, because of the slowness of life here, that is characteristic of a Third World Country, the patients and their families are given the individualized care and attention that they deserve—which they do not get in the states anymore.

Bob’s experience with his son is similar to my reason on why I moved my family, and more specifically, my children, to the Philippines. I wanted my children out of the educational system that I taught in in the states. As a former educator, I saw the futility of the “No Child Left Behind” program that the current president of the United States had implemented a few years ago. This program’s intention is great on paper. It is supposed to focus on students that are in high-risk category of dropping out of school, and encourage them to finish high school and then move on to college. But we have to be realistic. The students are all from diverse backgrounds. Not all children are going to be doctors, lawyers, engineers, and other white-collar professionals someday. Many young people are more interested or have the aptitude to work with their hands instead of being forced to become “Think Tanks”.

But what the educational system does is put these diverse student population together in the academic classroom and continue to raised the bar for graduation. And those who do not move up to the appropriate grade level after repeated tries, due to the lack of academics fostering at a young age, are socially promoted so that the school systems can get their hands on federal money by being in compliance with the “No Child Left Behind” program. Consequently, society is burden with high school graduates–armed only with a high school diploma– but little else in the academic and/or trade skills department, and more specifically–their own self-respect . So is it any wonder why the typical American classroom is always out of control, and the overall educational system of the United States continues to fail to produce positive results for the federal government, according to the latest news? We are lumping the students (with various interests and aptitudes) together in one category and expect to make “pencil-pushers” (white-collar jobs) out of them, because tradesmen (blue-collar jobs) are being outsource to migrant workers (who are willing to work for less), as well as, to offshore companies.

To close, there are many other reasons why my wife and I move our family to the Philippines, and I will share them with you in my future articles. But those reasons are just secondary to the most important reason of all—the future of our children. One of my friends in the United States had expressed his disagreement with me on my decision to move my family to the Philippines back in 2005, “what future will your children have growing up in a Third World Country like the Philippines? The opportunities are here in America.” I answered his rhetorical question with a couple of rhetorical questions, which he probably did not like. ‘Why do we have to base our decisions in this society (the United States) on material returns all the time? Why can’t we be impratical sometimes and just go back to basic? ’ And then I just walked away. Till next time….

Welcome to LiP Blog, Julius Bantigue

I want to announce that effective immediately, Julius Bantigue will be joining us as a Blogger here on the Live in the Philippines blog! Juluis has been a long time and frequent commenter on the blog, and almost everything I’ve seen him post makes a lot of sense.

Julius can help us expats and want-to-be expats a lot, because he is Filipino, yet a US Citizen. He has lived long term in each country, and thus can see both sides of issues. I feel that this is something that will really help contribute some good things to this blog!

For those who just can’t get enough of Julius here on LiP Blog, you can also visit his own Blog, called Philippine Voyager.

I just want to say - Welcome aboard, Juluis! Everybody, watch for Julius’ first post on the blog coming very soon!

Looking for foreign foods in Davao?

For any readers that are in Davao, there is a new place where you can find a decent selection of foreign style foods to choose from.  The place is called “Gourmet Deli” and is located on Governor Sales Street, just outside Chimes Mall in Uyangaren, Davao City.  The place is very similar to another well known “Deli” here in town, featuring many of the exact same products, even the same brand.  The thing is, that at the Gourmet Deli, the price is about half of the other Deli on most items.  When I hear other expats talk about the other, un-named “Deli” in town, everybody likes their stuff, but the complaint is always that the prices are high.  If this is your feeling, you might want to check out Gourmet Deli next time you are in that part of town.

Like I said, they have a selection of deli type items, mostly imported from Europe.  Cookies, biscuits, sun dried tomatoes, wine and other types of items.  They have a meat counter too with cuts of US beef, lamb, turkeys, many varieties of sausages, many cheeses and even some imported fish as well.  The selection of many products there is somewhat limited, but I feel that if they can generate some business there, over the long term they will increase their selection to feature at least the same things at the other deli in town.

The things we most want to escape are the things we can’t let go of!

If you think about it, it’s true.  All of us westerners have things that we really want to get away from.  We have reasons why we want to move to the Philippines.  One of the biggies is prices are low here.  But, among the other reasons we want to come here, we find:

• Get away from the rat race for a slower pace of life.
• Family Values.
• Less Stress.

Now, think about those things.  Each of those three things can easily be found in the Philippines.  The pace of life is certainly slower here than in our home countries.  No deadlines, schedules are looser, etc.  With all of our additional time, we can spend more family time.  Not having to worry about work, we can spend time with our wife, with out kids, etc.  With all this extra time to relax and have time with the family, it certainly leads to less stress, right?

Well, think again.  Remember yesterday when I posted about Mañana?  These three items that make us want to move to the Philippines are all related to Mañana.  When we are back in our home countries, we talk about what we are looking for, and what we are looking for really is Mañana.  Slower pace of life.  If we don’t get things done today, we will do it Mañana.  But, hold on…. as I discussed yesterday, these very things are the ones that we can’t let go of!  They are also the ones that cause us stress.

If the plumber doesn’t show up at 8am on the dot as he promised, we get stressed out.  If our lunch mate is 15 minutes late for lunch, we are practically hyperventilating.

Why is it that the very things that we want to get away from turn out to be the things that we can’t seem to let go after we get here?  This is a very interesting question, and one that I don’t have an answer for.  The only thing I can think of is that these particular values or attitudes are so ingrained in us that the ties are very hard to break.  I have been here for 7+ years and these very issues still bother me.  I am not nearly as up tight about them as I was years ago, but they do still cause me some stress.

I have decided that this is going to be something that I work on in coming months.  Give up the “on the minute” schedule that dictates my life.  Loosen up and give people time to get things done.  I feel that if I let these things go, and adapt to the local culture on this front, the stress will slip away too!

What do you think?  Why can’t we seem to shed these attitudes that are the reason we want to leave our home countries?  Any ideas?