A Bruneiyuki?

Back on the OFW topic now…

Rebecca and I went to Brunei a couple of weeks ago. She joined me on a business trip, and we were being given a tour of Brunei by my colleague there. Rebecca said that she noticed many Filipinos working there. My colleague said, “Oh, yes. Lots of Filipinos come here to work. The wages are decent and it is easy for them to visit home.”

Rebecca then informed him that the slang term for an OFW in Brunei is “Bruneiyuki”. My colleague started laughing very hard. You see, it really is a funny-sounding term… Bruneiyuki… Sort of like when you say “Kalamazoo”, “Uterus”, or “Cucamonga”.

How did the term come to be? Well, in the 1970’s, Japan was the leading destination for OFWs. When people returned home to the Philippines, they were nicknamed “Japayukis”. Since then, the “-yuki” suffix is often added to the country name. Hence, “Bruneiyuki”. The name is not complimentary, though. It is derogatory, referring that the OFW picked up foreign customs, modes of dress, and is somehow no longer Filipino. Think of the OFW returning to their home village wearing lots of jewelery, fancy clothes, etc., and you get the drift.

What I find amazing is that Brunei, Malaysia, and Indonesia are mixed race places. Just like the Philippines, people are a mixture of Malay, Chinese, Indigenous, and Western. In other words, just like back home. In fact, Tagalog and many of the Filipino languages share the many of the same root words as Bahasa Malaysia and Bahasa Indonesia. Rebecca was able to follow conversations in those languages, even though she does not speak them.

So, why is a derogatory term applied to people who go there to work? In a word… Envy. When OFWs return to their home province, all people see are the material things, the pasalubong, that they bring home with them. You show up in a rural area wearing clothing and other items that no-one else around could possibly afford and you invite “talk”. It’s a tough thing for an OFW to deal with. It’s tough on the family left behind. It’s difficult on everyone.

What’s life like as an OFW? Here’s an abbreviated description of Rebecca’s life before we moved to the Philippines. First off, she was treated differently when she was a housemaid than when she worked in an office. Office work paid better and there were SOME expectations related to professionalism. Her contract and sponsorship were for four years. Some differences between the contract and reality:

1. She was entitled to one month paid leave (including a plane ticket) to return home once per year. She actually received two weeks every other year, with no compensation for the extra 60 days time.

2. She was entitled to UAE holidays off (6 days per year).

3. She worked ten hours per day, six days per week, with one hour for lunch, so 11 hours daily in the office (60 working hours). During Ramadan, she worked an 8 hour shift.

4. She was entitled to free housing, which was never provided nor paid.

5. She was entitled to free transportation to and from work. Up until the last 6 months of employment, this was never provided.

6. She was entitled to annual raises which were never paid. She received rises only upon contract renewal.

7. Her passport was confiscated, despite being illegal under UAE law, and she could not leave the country without sponsor “permission”.

8. She could be terminated and deported “at will” for any reason, or no reason. Early in her career, this happened to her for refusing sexual advances in the office.

9. Your sponsor can control who you see, where you go, and what you do, even during your “free time”. It is technically legal, since by sponsoring your visa, the sponsor is responsible for all of your actions. Needless to say, this arrangement opens up many loopholes for abuse. So, for example, you leave work and want to go to a friend’s birthday party. Your sponsor could “decide” that you are up to no good and keep you from going. You must keep within the sponsor’s morality guidelines and the contracts are often written with such provisions. This is why the laborer work camps in the Middle East exist… The workers are easily controlled and kept separated from the population. They are, in reality, prisons, and the workers are poorly paid slaves. Filipinos have it bad in the Middle East… The Indians and Pakistanis in these camps have it worse.

So, you arrive overseas and things are not as promised. Who are you going to complain to? The answer is: Nobody. Yes, there are technically “protections” in existence, but if you complain, you risk being blacklisted (throughout the GCC) and unable to find further employment. Don’t like your boss or you are beaten at the office (This happened to her)? Same situation. Where do you go?

Rebecca was paid approximately USD 1,000 per month as a bookkeeper at the end of her last contract. This was after 10 years and a feeble attempt to get her to renew her contract after my presence in her life was known. Again, up until 6 months before the end, she was paid around USD 800. Out of that salary, 50% went to rent (Her and her brother shared the rent) and 30% went back to Abulug. That left 20% remaining to buy food, clothing, and other necessities. Being that the cost of living in the UAE approaches that of Europe, very, very little remained. In fact, there were many times over the years that Becky went to bed hungry or accepted handouts from a nearby restaurant, particularly in the early days when she only earned a couple of hundred USD per month. A few years ago, her “boss” told her she didn’t know how to manage money and that with his “generosity”, she should be living a very good life. Rebecca did not have money for pain medicine and antibiotics for her brother, who injured himself at work! She was asking for a $20 advance on her salary for 2 days. Of course, he then tried to offer her money in exchange for sex in order to help “teach” her how to manage her money. (Scumbag!) So, in order to buy the medicine, she went to an Indian loan shark who charged a mere 300% interest. $60 gets you $20 for two days.

So, what did she send home? Two balikbayan boxes per year, Christmas and Holy Week, and a total of $500 per month between her and her brother. A few appliances here and there over the years, and she invested some of her salary monthly to build the family house. That’s it. No more.

So, is the Bruneiyuki term unfair? That is a tough question. People in the provinces have no way to even begin to understand what an OFW goes through in order to send that money home. They have no life experience to compare it with. All they see is the clothing, the pasalubong and American movies showing people living the good life. You can’t really blame them for being envious. Rebecca never talked about the UAE to her family. She didn’t want to worry her mother and she was “ashamed” at how she was treated there. What was scary was that, over the years, she began to accept her experience as normal. She is having to re-learn life at its’ most basic level. She is having to learn to trust again, and that is a very difficult thing to accomplish. She was Filipino by birth, but she changed… She became Dubaiyuki (another term), even though she was very conscious not to flaunt money or show off. She was no longer the same person as when she left. Though some change came from age, much of it came from her experiences, very few of which were positive.

For 20 years, the only person she could trust wholly, without question, was her brother, who was sacrificing right beside her. They were literally all each other had. Because of this, Rebecca and Zaldy are very, very close. I respect him a lot and would trust him with anything, or do anything he asks. Zaldy was the primary reason we returned to the RP and are starting the business… We want to bring him home when his contract expires. His son is four years old, and is growing up without his father being there.

A couple of weeks ago, I wrote about a girl dumped at Manila airport by an agency. She wanted to work in Dubai, and I understand her reasons for wanting to go, but I can’t help but wonder if she is better off staying put here in the Philippines. Is the money worth it in the end?

100 things I like about the Philippines

OK… My last column was a bit of a downer, so, for this entry, I decided to be very positive and list 100 different things I like in the Philippines. Your list may be different: You may not like some of my items, or you may like some different things and feel they need to be added. No matter… That’s why ice cream comes in many different flavors: Everyone’s tastes are different. I’ve probably left off a few things and, quite frankly, I can get a little weird sometimes. So, without further ado, in no particular order (except #1 through 5 at the bottom of the list… They are the best!)

100. Lechon - If a pig has to die for food, it might as well be for this! Fork tender, and, Oh so good, Lechon is the reason God created the pig in the first place.

99. Different colors on the money - US currency spends, but it is so bloody boring to look at. Hey! US mint! Get a little creative, will ya?

98. Jeepneys - I like them. They are truly an egalitarian form of transport. And, they are CHEAP!

97. Having a beach “all to yourself” - Yeah, I’ve been to the Riviera, and Hawaii too. Just what I always wanted… Sharing a beach with 100,000 strangers. The Philippines is for people who like beaches… ALONE!

96. Banana Catsup - Nothing dips better with Lumpia. Also great with fried chicken.

95. No winter - Sitting here in cold, windy, Shanghai right now, I start to appreciate this. The Philippines is the best place in the world to be a weather man. Nearly always the same: Warm, humid, and scattered showers.

94. Kan Kong - Healthy and free, if you know where to pick it. I like the stuff.

93. Flowers - Being in the tropics, nearly every plant has flowers of some kind. Damn near everything grows here.

92. Cheap beer - If you need an explanation, the SHAME ON YOU!!! At only PHP 19 per bottle, how can you go wrong?

91. Cheap smokes - See number 92 above.  Usually around PHP 30 or so. When God made this noxious weed, he made an 11th commandment: Thou shalt have cheap Marlboros and render unto ye the unlimited smoking section.

90. Cool markets - You learn a lot about a place from the local market. In the Philippines, markets challenge the best bargainers in the world!

89. Singing “Turning Japanese” (The Vapors) or “Elvis is Everywhere” (Mojo Nixon) on Karaoke - Just look at the stunned faces of your Filipino friends.

88. Manila Bay - Yeah, it’s polluted. Yeah, I think it would be hard to drown there. One of the best sunsets in the Pacific Rim when viewed from the Mall of Asia promenade.

87. WWII Heroes - Filipinos were feared by the Japanese as fierce fighters. A proud part of Filipino history!

86. Corregidor - See #87 above. A place of honor and sacrifice, both American and Filipino.

85. Sari Sari stores - Yeah, I often hear negative comments. But I must ask: Does anyone here not appreciate the fact that you can get life’s basic necessities at any time with only a 10 to 30 meter walk?

84. Mariel Rodriguez - Ooohh la la!

83. Wowowee! - See above. Ooohh la la!!! Boy, Willie is a player. I like when the old Lolas win. Be really good if Willie knew how to sing. I also like how R.R. jiggles while dancing. (Hey!!! I can look!)

82. Christmas decorations - Absolutely beautiful and unique to the RP.

81. Fiesta time - Any excuse for a party.

80. Intramuros - Heritage that is irreplaceable.

79. Old churches - The history of the Philippines is intertwined with the church. Even if you are not Catholic, you simply can’t help but admire the beauty, architecture, and history of these structures.

78. The Manila Times - The oldest English newspaper, and, I feel, the best.

77. Pan de Manila - Anyone who hasn’t tried their hot pandesal with garlic cream cheese is really missing out! Baked on a pugon, and served steaming, I always eat one too many!

76. The Taho guy - Every morning, at 10:00 AM sharp, he walks through the compound hollering. If he misses a day, I wonder what’s wrong.

75. Filipino Buses - If you ride on the better buses to the provinces, these are as nice as a bus can get. Video, CR, Aircon, and, on some, even flat sleeper seats. And a bargain at under PHP 1,000 for even long journeys.

74. Fresh fruit - I am not a fruit eater. However, the pineapples and Mangoes in the Philippines can convert even a dedicated Chocoholic!

73. No ties needed - I hate ‘em. There is a special place in Hell for their inventor. Even in business, I seldom wear a tie. Business casual is the DRESSIEST you may ever need (and that is just for important meetings, like lawyers, and government offices.)

72. Cleanliness - You have never set foot inside a clean house until you have entered a Filipino home. Germs don’t stand a chance.

71. Fresh seafood - Surrounded by water, if you like seafood, then the Philippines is a paradise. You can eat nearly everything that swims here, and most Filipinos do so!

70. Cultural variety - With over 80 different languages and 7,000 different islands in the archipelago, life is a varied mix, and never boring.

69. Cock Fights - I know many people dislike them intensely. In the West, there are many examples of animal cruelty that can often be worse. I view them as part of the heritage here. Seeing a man holding his prize rooster, caring for it, and showing it off… THAT is true pride! All my relatives eagerly anticipate the fight days… They are truly social occasions.

68. Halo-Halo - When Chow King opened in Abu Dhabi, Becky and I shared a Halo-Halo on one of our first dates. You can’t eat one alone. It’s not the same. They were made for sharing.

67. Buko Shakes - Somehow, when it is hot outside, nothing will hit the spot like an icy cold buko milkshake.

66. Fishing - Some of the world’s best fishing is here. Nothing beats the simple pleasure of catching your own.

65. Waterfalls - I am intrigued by them. Beautiful and a bit mysterious, there are hundreds of them in the country, just waiting to be explored. A waterfall shower is a “must do” life experience, at least once.

64. Caves - Underground beauty. Nature at its finest. Thousands of them throughout the country.

63. Rainbows - With all the moisture in the air, full rainbows are common. One special rainbow I saw on our wedding day. Becky prayed at the cemetery before our wedding, and a full rainbow appeared. She took it as her ancestors’ blessing, and who am I to dispute that?

62. Peanut butter - See Pan de Manila above. They make the absolute best peanut butter I have ever had.

61. Carabaos - Yeah, they smell bad. But, I think they are really neat animals. Gentle giants.

60. Different birds - Birds migrate to the Philippines from all over Asia. Warm weather and lots of water and food attract them. Many are unique to this country.

59. Myths and superstitions - The folklore of the Philippines is rich with stories and tales of old. Some may sound silly, but they are a vital part of the country’s heritage and make fascinating conversations with the older people in the family. There is still a very much alive oral tradition here.

58. Noli me Tangere - This is a “must read” for any foreigners living here. Written by Jose Rizal, a true hero. Explains much about the Filipino people.

57. Listening to the rain - I like storms. We have a corrugated steel roof on our house, and the sound of rain on the roof is comforting, in a strange sort of way.

56. CDO bacon - The CDO Ham Shop in Quiapo makes the best bacon in the world. Meaty, salty, smoky, and sweet, sliced paper thin, it fries up beautifully. This is the heroin of pork, folks.

55. The little altar (shrine) in our house - This gives Becky a lot of comfort. Light a candle and say a few prayers. Part of her heritage.

54. Filipino brooms - When you look in our utility closet, there’s a thing in there that looks like something Brunhilde would use to fly into the full moonlight with. Very practical, and cheap, besides.

53. Coconut shell floor scrubbers - Two empty coconut husks, strapped to Rebecca’s feet. She “dances” and they really do scrub the floors! I watched a 90 year-old lola in Pamplona use them… Now THAT’S entertainment! (And she was pretty good, too!)

52. Rice planting songs - The family was singing short little songs while planting rice in the paddies… Sort of like a cadence while soldiers march. Unique to the Philippines.

51. Calamansi - Calamansi “lemonade” is phenomenally good. For a real treat, blend with a little Tanduay Rhum and ice for a Filipino “Electric Lemonade”.

50. Tanduay Rhum - Pretty good rum (I’m a bit of a rum fan) and a real bargain (Less than PHP 100 for a bottle).

49. Filipino folk music - Not as common as OPM or the Pinoy crooners and Divas, but unique to the Philippines. Every province has their own songs and dances. They are a mixture of native and Spanish influences, with many lyrics about love or old folk tales. Filipino guitar can be stunningly beautiful.

48. Nipa Huts - I like them. I’d like to build one in Manila, perhaps on our roof.

47. Hammocks - Native made, and very strong, a comfortable nap in the province, with gentle ocean breezes.

46. The color of the sea - The waters around many Philippine Islands are nearly pristine. Colors range from light turquoise, like a swimming pool, to the deepest indigo imaginable, over the Mindanao Trench.

45. Our barbecue grill - Made from native Cagayan Valley clay, this thing can really cook! Squat, and a bit funny looking, but designed to make perfect barbecue pork.

44. Mangroves - Found along the shore of every island, the fish and wildlife supported by native mangroves is astounding. These are disappearing due to development in many parts of the country.

43. The Philippine Tarsier - I like monkeys. I’d love to train a monkey to get me a beer. These are more like tiny lemurs. They are the smallest primate in the world, and they belong in the forest.

42. Many kinds of Rice - Some people don’t like it, but I like rice. If you move to the Philippines, you had better get used to eating it. Rice certainly deserves respect. In the Philippines, rice equals life itself.

41. The 5 centavo coins - Yeah, they are pretty much worthless. But I think they look neat. I like the hole in the middle.

40. Native clothing - Filipinos can weave cloth and make lace in an amazing variety of styles.

39. Champorada - A form of rice pudding made from red rice and native chocolate. Sinfully rich, healthy, and a wonderful breakfast.

38. Going to the movies - Cheap entertainment, free aircon to boot. Becky trying to translate Tagalog movies for me is an experience. Most of the comedies featuring Ai Ai, Dolphy, Chocolate, or Pokwong I can follow without too much trouble.

37. Talking with the Tricy drivers outside our compound - These guys hang out all day, swapping stories (Bullsh*t in American vernacular). Always ready to talk and say hello, probably not more than 3 pesos between them all, they are nice guys and a daily 5 minute conversation with them has become part of my routine.

36. Giving chocolates to the neighborhood kids - I’ve become known as the compound’s ”place to go for candy”. They have learned that if they hang around, I usually will give them a few small sweets.

37. Getting things fixed - A bargain in the Philippines. There is an old man who comes through our compound daily who will fix everything from a toaster to sharpening knives. A few pesos and it is as good as new. I’ve fixed things here that I would have thrown away in the States.

36. The value of money - We send money to the province. You can really see the effect that relatively small amounts of money have on people’s lives.

35. Greenhills - The snooty part of Manila. Nice for a stroll, shopping, or eating.

34. The Aguinaldo House - In Cavite. Unique colonial architecture and an irreplaceable piece of history.

33. Seashells - As varied and numerous as the sea creatures they came from.

32. Flying over the islands - Natural beauty in the Philippines is spectacular, and often, the only way to see it is from the air.

31. Native Coffee - Very good, and a “must try” item.

30. Lumpia Shanghai - One of Rebecca’s specialties. She has the Chinese beat by a mile on this one!

29. Local furniture - Craftsmen still exist in the Philippines. Furniture made by hand, with considerable skill, from native hardwood is common and beautiful. It will outlast anything made in the States (Except, perhaps, Amish or Shaker furniture made in much the same manner).

28. Natural food - No preservatives and nearly everything you buy from a local market is “organic”, even if not necessarily certified as such.

27. Mah Jong - The typical provincial recreation. I like to watch, but refrain from betting (Won’t go there)

26. Green - The jungle has many shades of green. Ireland may be the “Emerald Isle”, but I think the Philippines is greener.

25. Holy Week - Yes, it can be boring to outsiders, but there are few places on Earth, except perhaps Mecca, where the faithful express such devotion.

24. Christmas - Filipinos LOVE Christmas. Your mood cannot be bad during this season. Much less commercial than in the States, and the Family is central to the celebration.

23. Telling a Manang I’ll find her a Kano boyfriend - Usually results in a blush, a giggle, and an “I’m too old!”

22. Cheap DVDs - Even the legal ones are cheap, by US standards. I’ve never had a video library as extensive as I do here.

21. Baguio Pineapple Jam - Try it on pancakes.

20. Piat - A place of pilgrimage and a beautiful setting.

19. Santo Nino - Holy to most Filipinos, and a highly historic church.

18. Bancas - Colorful, and usually made by hand. The only way to reach many places. Cheap, but don’t go looking for safety gear. Another completely unique experience in the Philippines.

17. No prescription needed - Feeling sick? Just head to the pharmacy.

16. Calesas - Traditional, horse-drawn carriages. You need to ride at least once.

15. Vigan - The oldest, best preserved Spanish city in the Philippines. An historic treasure.

14. Swimming - With water everywhere, a swim is always possible. I never travel in the country without bringing a swimsuit.

13. SM, Robinsons, GOTESCO - You can do everything at these stores, from paying utility bills to buying a house full of furniture. True “one-stop shopping”.

12. Delivery - Usually cheap, free, or minimal hassle. Anything, from refrigerators to food can be delivered. Even McDonalds delivers.

11. Puto - Steamed little cakes that are surprisingly addictive.

10. Legua de Gato - Little butter cookies that disappear very quickly (At least when I’m around!)

9. Nature - The Philippines is truly beautiful. Words cannot describe it, especially in rural areas. People live in harmony with nature, despite all the modern problems.

8. Riding a tractor - Transport, hauling, plowing… These vehicles do it all.

7. Growing your own food - There is a satisfaction you gain from growing things yourself. Self sufficiency is alive and well in the RP.

6. Respect - There is a civility among people here that has disappeared in the West. Mistrust, caution, and nastiness are rare, and certainly not expressed very often. People’s attitudes when I return to the States give me a shock. I am no longer used to it.

Now, the top 5 (in order)

5. Faith - Belief in God has caused problems throughout history. In the Philippines, faith UNITES people and gives them civility, charity, kindness, hope, and comfort. The strong faith here is refreshing, and I respect it.

4. The simple life - Life in the provinces is hard, but there is a satisfaction of escaping the modern world. Death from stress-related heart attacks is rare there.

3. Filipino kids - The nicest, most well-behaved, respectful kids in the world.

2. Family - The ties are strong here, and I was welcomed into the family. This is something else that is quickly disappearing in the West.

1. Filipina - Women in the Philippines are the sweetest, most beautiful, and hard-working women in the world. They are THE national treasure of this country, and should be treated with respect and reverence.

OFW Abuse

This is a really sad story, and something for each person to think about before going to bed. What would you do in this situation?

Last night, an incident happened that really bothered me. Rebecca was an OFW, and I know how OFW’s are often treated while overseas. The incident I am about to describe really gets me angry, however. The way that people can treat others is sometimes outright despicable.

We had a great weekend down in Brunei, and arrived back in Manila late last night. While we were organizing our stuff waiting by the taxi queue, a fairly young girl, about 18 years old, approached Rebecca crying, obviously in trouble of some sort, and speaking Bisaya. Fortunately, Rebecca speaks some Bisaya (The girl DID NOT speak Tagalog, much less English), and the girl asked Becky if she could use her cell phone to call her cousin. Here’s what happened:

1. A Filipino recruiter went to this girl’s village somewhere very remote in Mindanao advertising “waitress” jobs in Dubai. The girl’s family was poor, and Muslim, so they agreed to let her go to this job and earn money for the family.

2. She was given a passport and sent to a 1 hour “familiarization” course subcontracted to an outside firm (NOT the recruiter) the same day she was put on a plane for Dubai. She had only 500 pesos in her pocket.

3. She arrived in Dubai, without a visa, and was denied entry into the UAE for “medical reasons” (She is diabetic). She has a big red stamp in her passport basically stating she is on the blacklist.

4. After several days being held in Dubai airport immigration, with minimal food (Trust me… You do not want this to happen to you), she was put on a flight back home, via Brunei. No relatives were called, no one to pick her up, and no one to get her back to Mindanao… Essentially dumped at the Manila Airport. She still had only the 500 pesos in her pocket and no cell phone… Just the clothes on her back and a small bookbag.

So, this is when we meet, outside the taxi queue, and this girl scared, not knowing what to do, approaches us. Becky and I tried to phone several relatives of hers, all of whom simply hung up the phone on her. She had been disowned because she was back in the Philippines and brought dishonor to her family. It turns out that this “Agency” contacted the family demanding the fees and cost of her ticket and the family, not having any money to pay, simply disowned her. We finally got in touch with her cousin in Cubao, who was supposed to meet her. OK… So far, problem solved (we think). We invited her to share our taxi to get her to her relatives, where she would be safer than roaming the streets. On the ride to Cubao, Rebecca gets her story, looks at her documents, and tells her how to handle the agency (They did many illegal things, in BOTH countries). Needless to say, most of the documents were either forged or incomplete. The girl did not even know the name of the agency and the employer was one Becky recognized as for housemaids… That in itself is an entirely different problem. In other words, there was no way that this girl would be admitted anywhere. She and her family were outright scammed.

Rebecca is very knowledgeable about these things. She left home at 22 years old, a naive young girl, on her first posting to Kuwait. She was paid $90 per month as a housemaid, and fed only a roll, 50 grams of cheese, and one egg per day for six months. There were many other abuses I will not describe other than to say that her experience bordered on slavery. She never set foot outside the compound her entire time in Kuwait. When her contract was up, she went to secretarial school in the UAE while working at another horrid job, later becoming a recruiter for a large company in Abu Dhabi. Eventually, she was the POEA liaison for this company, and the P.R.O. for the UAE company. She left that company because she could not stomach the abuses any longer… it was “dirty money”, dealing in human beings, to quote her exact words. She never sent one peso home during that time… she didn’t want her shame (her words…she has nothing to be ashamed of) to reflect on her family… She spent it on clothing and food for the people she recruited, instead of on herself. I met her ten years after, while she was a bookkeeper and also handled the visa issues for another company. So, she knows the system, how it works, and all of the various immigration requirements for both countries. She has been on the receiving end and lived it.

So, continuing on with the story, the taxi driver is confused about the address we gave him. We then couldn’t reach the cousin. The phone has been turned “off” since we reached her at the airport. We gave the girl our phone numbers (so Becky could deal with the agency for her…) Unlicensed. We were going to call a few bigshots at the POEA who are “friends” and shut these people down), 200 pesos for something to eat and to keep trying to reach relatives. We were also discussing offering her a job on the farm, where she would be paid, and safe. She insisted to be let off in Cubao (Despite being a horrible, and unsafe, location). We told her repeatedly to call us and have tried to contact the cousin. We did all we could to help. But, you can’t force someone to accept it.

There are companies and individuals here who prey on the ignorant and desperate. There are licensed agencies who are audited and regulated. The government tries to warn people not to believe any agency, other than those affiliated with the POEA. Yet, the poverty still drives people to these scum. Just something to think about before you hire your next maid, or exclaim how cheap labor is here.

Parasols and the Filipinas who wield them

I thought about this post this afternoon while I was over at Ever Gotesco, walking across the pedestrian bridge over Commonwealth Avenue. I stopped on the bridge and was giving a few pesos to a Lola, obviously from the provinces, when I was stabbed in the eye by a parasol. Accidental? Yes, of course. However, the thought occurred to me that this wasn’t the first time this has happened! Far from it, in fact.

I would hazard a guess that every woman in the Philippines ( and I am including girls over the age of two in this description ), regardless of how poor, owns at least two of these weapons of terror. My beautiful wife, God love her, is obsessed with the sun, and she owns at least two weapons of mass destruction in the form of an orange “Ocean Park” parasol and a black “Hello Kitty” parasol. Wielded by an expert, they truly must be more lethal than an atom bomb! For those of you not yet here in the Philippines: If you don’t believe me, walk through the Quiapo or Divisoria markets on any given day and you WILL have unfortunate contact with one of these devices!

So, when we are going out, I am often reminded about how useful these devices can be: Protection from the sun AND the rain!  Since, in the Philippines, it is always either raining or strong sun, a typical exchange every time we go out:

“John, you should carry one. You’ll get wet!”, I’m told.

I always respond, “Momma didn’t give me enough sense to come out of the rain!”

“Don’t be silly! Here!”, while she’s handing me one.

“Very effeminate. Why don’t I just carry a purse?”

“There is nothing effeminate about holding a parasol!”

“How many men do you see carrying them?”

“None, but that’s not the point!”

“I’d rather get wet.”

“Well, if you are going to be stubborn, I’ll just hold it over you!”

At which point, it never fails, I’ll be poked in the eye as it is being opened. Now, you might be thinking, hmmmm… this is just a male vs. female thing. Wrong again! It is a FILIPINA thing. When I lived in Abu Dhabi, every Filipina you see walking around there comes equipped with a parasol, regardless of year, make, or model. Standard equipment that you can never remove, except perhaps surgically, but you’ll have to get her anaesthetized first.

I understand that the sun is harsh. I’ve heard all about brown spots from too much sun. I hear comments after Rebecca returns from the province like, “I look like a Somali now!”. I have also been shopping for thousands of pesos in whitening creams that never seem to do much except for…. Well…. Nothing! I have also experienced the panic that arises when the parasol somehow becomes detached and is left behind. My points are simply as follows:

1. Big warning labels should be painted on all parasols sold in the Philippines: “Caution, dangerous when opened!” A skull and crossbones would be a nice touch.

2. As with all dangerous weapons, make ownership of said devices contingent on the successful completion of safety classes and licensing.

3. Suggest to your significant other that a wide-brimmed hat, or as in the provinces, a big banana leaf, will accomplish the same thing without eye injury.

4. Perhaps institute some James Bond-like designation for parasol owners. Since Bond took the “oo” designation, I propose a “11″ designation of “Licensed to Kill with Parasol”.

Now, I may get criticized for what I’ve written. No anger is intended. Just simple observation about daily life. And…. Thank’s for asking. My eye is doing much better now. No blood, but boy, did it smart a bit!

My Mother’s Visit

They arrived in Manila and we had to go straight to Quiapo market to buy wedding provisions. Unfortunately, it rained that day, and, as those of you familiar with Manila know, Quiapo turns into a river when it rains. So, what do I do after we get parked? I plop my mother down in a tricycle to go shopping in the rain. Needless to say, both she and Bob were a little bit shocked to be wandering around in the market and riding a tricycle in 1 foot of water! Welcome to the Philippines! A Picture, so you get the general idea:

After returning to our house, the jet lag caught up with them, and we turned in early… Our flight to Tuguegarao left early the next morning. We took them on a tour of Cagayan and a bit of Ilocos Norte before the wedding, over a couple of days. Here’s a map of our route:

On landing in Tuguegarao, I took it slow, stopping to let them take pictures and really “see” the country. Several things stuck in their minds:

1. The sheer number of tricycles in Tuguegarao (It really is amazing for such a small town!) Add in the “comfort” factor in riding one!

2. The fact that everyone stopped, waved, and smiled.

3. Drying palay and corn on the road.

4. The heat. They live in Florida, but the heat really got to them. Both work in IT, and go from an aircon home to aircon car to aircon office. I think they really were surprised at how hot and muggy it gets here. My mother was on the verge of heat exhaustion much of the time, and I stopped for water whenever I could. (I got a bit concerned at one point.)

5. The veracity of the Filipino mosquito.

6. The attraction and joy of the simple life. This really surprised me too. More on this in a bit, but I think that they were surprised that places like this still exist.

7. The fact that your dinner may have a name before it is cooked.

8. How really close Filipino families can be.

9. The mostly untouched beauty of the Cordilliera and Sierra Madre.

10. Riding the banca across the Cagayan River.

11. Seeing all the carabaos.

12. Seeing the kids in rural schools, and just experiencing being around these kids.

13. Being stared at in areas that don’t see many visitors, and certainly not foreigners.

I drove up the National Highway from Tuguegarao to Abulug, and they stayed at a very small hotel in Pamplona: The only one with aircon rooms withing 30km of Abulug. Rebecca and her family were very nervous about them coming. Understandable in Rebecca’s case, being that she met her mother-in-law for the first time. But what was her family worried about?

Well, it comes back to an issue of money, social status, and class. I reassured them that there would be no problems. However, the family was worried that my mother would think poorly of them because they were poor. I will say this… Before we left, my mother said, “You know, I am almost envious of Rebecca’s family. No dysfunction. Everyone gets along. Everyone is happy. They really have something money cannot buy.” In my mind, this one statement says it all.

The next day, I drove them further up the National Highway to Claveria and Pugudpud. Pugudpud is starting to get some resorts and visitors, mostly from China, but Claveria is still just a small fishing village (Really, Pugudpud hasn’t changed all that much either.) The National highway between the two towns is steep, very twisty, and the scenery is dramatic. The road curves along the top of cliffs that plunge straight down into the sea. Both Claveria and Pugudpud have “white” beaches and lagoons for swimming. In Claveria, the village sits on the remnants of an old military base, built by the Japanese. While in Claveria, we saw the fishermen returning with the day’s catch, their wives waiting on shore. Simple life. Simple pleasures. This (white beach, palm trees, nice people) is what many people go look for in the Caribbean or Mexico, or Tahiti. In those places, over touristed and “modern”, that simple way of life no longer exists. How could a tiny island not change when a cruise ship discharges 2,000 passengers at once? This vision of paradise still exists and is very real here in the Philippines. It just needs to be searched for.

The day before the wedding, both Rebecca and I had some running around. Becky’s Aunt took Bob and my mother on a walking tour of Pamplona, introducing them at City Hall (They didn’t want to be a spectacle, but you sort of follow the lead) and stopping by the school to hear the kids practicing songs for International Week. After picking guava, rambutan, and okra in Becky’s uncle’s garden, we had to run to Aparri to the bank (everything is paid with cash up there… NO ATM’s except in Aparri). Since time was short, we took the ferry (banca) across the river… Yet another uniquely Filipino experience. You pass through a mixture of rice paddies, jungle, and fishing villages before reaching the other side of the river. This way is quicker than driving by one hour (From Abulug, you need to drive south to Lal’lo and the bridge, then north up the opposite river bank.) Tricycle and then ATM and a quick lunch.

Finally, they experience our wedding and the uniquely Filipino customs surrounding the ceremony. Again, this trip was an adventure. For a first trip to Asia, they were completely off the tourist trail. I hope they have pleasant memories of the Cagayan Valley and the people there. When my mother first arrived, she was shocked at why I would choose to live here. After her experiences in Manila (unavoidable, given our time constraints), I understand. After going to the province, I think she sees what I see. I will eventually live in Cagayan with my wife by my side. My mother and Bob already are thinking of returning to this “Paradise found”. Some pictures:

Our Trip to Batanes

Last week, I wrote that I would tell a little about our honeymoon in Basco, Batanes province. Batanes is in the Babuyan Straits, between Luzon and Taiwan. This corner of the Philippines is very remote (two hours from Manila by plane, or 24 hours by banca from Aparri), rarely visited, and culturally very different from the rest of the country: Different language, different customs, MUCH cooler weather, and even different architecture. In fact, in places, the province really resembles the Clare coast of Ireland or the Tierra del Fuego in Chile more than the Philippines. Batan Island holds the town of Basco, the provincial capitol. Here’s a map:

Fourteen interesting facts about Batanes:

1. The Yvatan language is a mixture of Ilocano, Ybanag, Itawis, and local dialects.

2. Batanes has a crime rate of zero. It has been years since any arrests have been made for anything, other than immigration violations. As a matter of fact, the jail is empty save for some Vietnamese who were captured on one of the outlying islands. The local police were not even immediately sure what to do with them, so a special room was set up, with a newly-painted sign over the door “Basco Special Facility for Unlawful Immigrant Entry”.

3. The most unique sari-sari store in the country is there… The Honesty Store. The store is un-manned: You take what you wish and leave payment in a bucket.

4. Traditional Yvatan houses are made of coral and stone, cemented by lime. The walls are over 1m thick and the roofs are made of grass (thatch).

5. Famous local delicacies include: coconut crab (They look like a big spider… really!); White Ube (not the common purple); Taro with coconut milk; Lobsters (more like big langoustines); garlic (tiny bulbs that are really potent); and locally-grown tumeric (for yellow rice. Very much like the Spanish or Cuban “Arroz con Pollo” rice).

6. There are many historic lighthouses in the islands.

7. Batanes was the first Philippine territory occupied by the Japanese during WWII. Since the islands lie in the Straits between the Philippines and Taiwan, they are strategically important and the area is a major shipping lane to this day.

8. There are many, many live coral reefs surrounding the islands, and the water is nearly pristine. Coral tide pools teeming with fish are on every beach. It is like swimming in someone’s aquarium. (We also saw a Pacific Sea Snake in one pool, 1.5m long, blue and black bands, and very poisonous. Jesus walked on water? So did Rebecca when she saw it!)

9. They raise sheep in Batanes (Not just goats).

10. There are no taxis in Batanes, and, for that matter, no traffic or traffic signals. There are tricycles and a few jeepneys.

11. There is a “Ghost Village”, SongSong, that was never rebuilt after a tidal wave.

12. The old US Radar facility (long abandoned) was famous for showing free hollywood movies to the local people on a stucco wall, like an impromptu drive-in.

13. Basco received gaslamps (for light at night) for the first time 18 years ago, and electricity only in 1998.

14. Basco receives an average of 14 typhoons per year.

We arrived at Basco and checked-in at Brandon’s Resort (formerly Pension Ivatan, and all the signs still say the old name). In Basco, there are a handful of hotels and guesthouses. No online booking, confirmation numbers, or anything. Call them up and they will be waiting for you. The arrival of the daily flight from Manila is the only excitement in town… Nearly everyone is there waiting, including the hotel proprietors. After a gruelling two-minute ride, you arrive in Basco, just in time for breakfast. Brandon’s has the only restaurant in town (Your only option, but the food is good, and cheap. For two, no meal was over 300 pesos). The restaurant owners hired a chef from the Dusit in Manila, and also own the Kusina Cagayano in Tuguegarao. The food is traditional Yvatan. I was ready for junk food after three days, but, since provisions not grown in Basco must be brought in, a cheeseburger was out of the question (no cheese or beef). Room is up 50 steps at the top of a hill overlooking the town. Hot water is from the little yellow device pictured below. I was scared of the damn thing. Rebecca used it, said “John, check to see if the water is hot.” I stuck my finger in the bucket, and got about 220 volts into me… OUCH!!!!

Basco, and Batan, are truly beautiful… Without question. Life is simple there. Natural beauty and simplicity is why you go to Batanes. The Yvatan people are also some of the nicest, and most genuine, people I have met in the Philippines, or anywhere else. Forget “Hey Joe!!!!” Everyone, from simple fishermen to the town elders, will always wave at you and offer a quiet smile. The town is spotlessly clean, pollution-free, and the type of almost idyllic lifestyle I sometimes yearn for. At breakfast each morning, locals came up to us in the restaurant, had a seat next to us, and started introducing themselves. Making friends there is natural, and not forced. Quite simply, people there have learned to treat their neigbors and visitors with respect and a refreshing selflessness… They are human. Change is coming to these islands soon. There are many proposals for mass tourism and large resorts floating around on the table. The local Yvatan are resisting large-scale tourism and are fearful of their way of life changing. I don’t blame them. Batanes is a special place, and once changed, what is lost is gone forever. I’ll close this article with more pictures… They can describe Batanes better than I ever could.

Wedding Bells!

Well, the wait is finally over! On Wednesday, October 8, the love of my life, Miss Rebecca Tubbali Carrao, became my wife, Mrs. Rebecca Carrao Miele.

It was such a busy week, and after all of the wedding preparations, by the time we left on our short honeymoon, we were both completely exhausted. I will be writing my next three articles about this past week. Since many readers of LiP are marrying Filipinos, this article is about the wedding preparations, the wedding itself, and a short breakdown of costs that I hope will prove useful to those getting married here (Those of you who have paid for weddings in the West will be shocked at how inexpensive).

The next article is about our honeymoon in Basco, Batanes, a remote, little-known part of the Northern Philippines, and a very unique and special place. Finally, my mother attended our wedding, and it was her first trip ever to Asia. I will describe some of her impressions and our visit to Claveria and Pugudpud, on the Cagayan and Ilocos Norte border, in the last article.

Our wedding was held at St. Thomas Aquinas Church in Abulug, on a Wednesday. Why did we choose a Wednesday? Well, we made a conscious effort to try and keep as low of a profile as possible. We were completely unsuccessful in this regard. If you marry in a small, provincial town, you WILL be the event of the year, possibly several years, like it or not. Virtually everyone in town is related in some way, shape, or form. If you invite two, then up to 15 will attend. The family connections in the Philippines mean that you cannot simply say “no”, so, you plan on a certain number, and increase it at least double. Add in the fact that Rebecca is over *&^%$? years old, never married, and marrying an American and the guest count swells. Rebecca has family all over the Northern Cagayan province. Guests came from two barangays in Abulug, Bulala, Pamplona, and Aparri.

Preparations began on the preceding Friday, when our guest count increased from 800 to 1,000… Yes, you read that figure correctly. Around 200 for the ceremony, the rest at the reception. Rebecca was running around the province looking for two additional pigs for the reception, since her mother was in a full-blown panic about having enough food. Feeding that many people required six large pigs, a cow, and two hundred kilos of vegetables, rice, and other food. The reception was at the Carrao family home. A very large tent was set up to one side of the house to seat as many as possible, and several other tents were set up behind the house for cooking and slaughtering. Rebecca’s brothers went and collected as many chairs and tables as they could find, lent to us by the municipality. On the Saturday before the wedding, my mother arrived in Manila and we went to several supermarkets to buy food for the reception, most of which is unavailable, difficult to find, or three times more expensive in the provinces. Several boxes were packed and shipped to Ballesteros on the Florida Lines busses on Sunday. Two days before the wedding, the cooking began in the evening. Keep in mind that there are no banquet halls, restaurants, or supermarkets up there. Therefore, if you run out of carrots (we did), you go the 12 km to Ballesteros to buy more, since the market in Abulug only runs two days per week, in the early morning. Cooking continued right up until just before the wedding. The cooks were hired in Sanchez Mira, 30 km away. Hiring local cooks would have meant they would most likely have also been guests, given the relationship between families in Abulug, so that was our choice. Note, that most of Rebecca’s family also cooked, despite having hired help… Not possible to get them to relax.

The nearest bakery for the wedding cake is Tuguegarao, so, the cake needed to be transported up, along typical rural roads, as did the flowers. Both needed to be stored refrigerated from the 32 degree heat, and the church kindly allowed the use of their refrigerator. Professional photographers are a rarity in Abulug, so several designated relatives were the wedding photographers. Decorations were done by Becky’s classmates, shipped up from Manila. Finally, the day arrived.

Our wedding was a traditional Ybanag Catholic ceremony, conducted in English, with a full Mass. Father Carlos had the children in the church choir practicing Ybanag love songs late the night before. We offered to buy paint for the church for his fee, and I’m certain it will look very tidy before Holy Week celebrations in the Spring. The day before the wedding, Father Carlos received the documents from Tuguegarao, along with our wedding rings, the arrhae, and the cord. Early that morning, Rebecca visited her ancestors’ graves, and lit candles to ask for their spirits’ blessings.

Traditionally, the groom arrives first at the Church, and waits for the bride, who was late. The town “baklas” were doing her hair and makeup and wanted things just right. (When Father Carlos heard that they were decorating the church, he expressed a deep trepidation that his chapel might end up being bright purple or something… They did a nice job and it looked great!) Our Sponsors, twelve each, were joking about Filipinos always being late. Meanwhile, I was sitting in the heat in a traditional Barong Tagalog, made from pineapple fibres, and not very comfortable (Keep this in mind in a non-aircon church for at least one hour when choosing your garb). The procession to the altar is led by the ring bearer and flower girl, followed by the groom, mother and father of the groom, all the sponsors, and finally, the bride, accompanied by her mother and father (Becky’s Uncle accompanied her, since her father is deceased). The bride stops, and the groom walks up the aisle and she takes his arm to accompany him to the altar.

Father Carlos then started the Mass, with his sermon. The Marriage Rite begins, and I present Becky the Arrhae (A small basket with 13 silver coins), and we then exchange rings. We then proceed back up the aisle of the church, collect the Host and Sacramental wine, and, accompanied by our mothers, proceed back to the altar. We kneel before the altar, and are draped with a veil, wrapped by a silk cord. Communion is held, and we go behind the altar to sign the marriage certificate (4 copies), followed by each sponsor. We are then officially married. There is no “You may now kiss”, as in the States. As we leave the church, we are showered with flower petals and, arriving at the reception, showered with rice. This part is Ybanag and not Filipino. Throwing rice is considered bad luck by many Filipinos (Rice is life), but Ybanags consider it an offering as thanks for blessings. We then kneel again, each holding a candle, more prayers are said, then it is time to eat. In our case, Becky is related to the Governor, Congressman, and Mayor, so speeches were made, and I was made an “Official” citizen of Abulug by the Congressman’s wife. We dispensed with the traditional “money dance”, since we asked for no gifts. The meal was basically everything you could conceivably make from a cow and a pig. Lechon, Embotido, Menudo, Deep fried battered ribs from the Lechon (really, really, good and a definite “special occasion” dish), Stuffed Flank Steak Rolls (I forget the Ybanag name), Adobo (Both Beef and Pork), about a dozen other dishes from the various parts, Macaroni Salad, and, yes, homegrown rice.

One final, very funny thing that I didn’t expect. I mentioned that Rebecca is a very traditional girl. Well, we had our first (very minor) married argument that evening. As guests were leaving, I saw that she was in the kitchen trying to do the dishes after 1,000 people just ate! I told her, “Brides do NOT do dishes on their wedding night!!!!”, took her by the hand, and got her the heck out of there. I certainly got a great girl!

Total costs:

Custom wedding dress - 6,000 Pesos

Food for 1,000 people - 80,000 Pesos

Flowers - 3,000 Pesos

Cake - 3,000 Pesos

Cooking and Wait Staff (8 ppl, 3 days) - 15,000 Pesos

Transport for important guests who are not “well off” (You WILL incur this expense) - 30,000 Pesos

Hotel in Pamplona for Foreign Guests - 20,000 Pesos

Sound System - 2,000 Pesos

Rental for Plates - 3,000 Pesos

Transport for workers - 20,000 Pesos

Barong Tagolog for groom and male wedding party - 10,000 Pesos

Dresses for female wedding party - 15,000 Pesos

Honeymoon - 30,000 Pesos

Candles, decorations, etc. - 10,000 Pesos

_____________________________________________

Total - 265,000 Pesos (US$5,600)

Add in Church fees, and the total is far, far below the cost of even a simple wedding in the States. Certainly less, considering the number of people. Again, we did not want people who need cash to feel any obligations. This wedding, which started to be a simple ceremony Becky’s mother could see, quickly mushroomed. Given the logistics issues in the provinces, and the family obligations, foreigners need to be prepared for many more people than they would normally expect at a wedding and much “last minute” modifications. In the end, though, everyone had a good time, and that really is all that matters. I am truly a very lucky man to have such a beautiful bride by my side, and a new, very nice, extended family, and I say thanks every minute for this blessing. Some Photos:

Travel Maps

Maps have always fascinated me… Two dimensional depictions of places I might go, might have visited, might desire to visit. When you look at a map of the world, the Philippines looks so close to many places, yet, when you are sitting on an airplane, the distance becomes very real.

I love the maps that are on the planes. Most airlines have the seatback TVs, and there usually is a moving map showing your location, how far you’ve been, and how much further to go. I usually leave that channel “on” when I fly. If we are flying over somewhere very remote, like Greenland, Siberia, or atolls in the Pacific, I’ll open the window shade to have a look, sometimes to the annoyance of fellow passengers. I once flew from Tokyo to London during the summer, and was literally amazed at the vast emptiness of Siberia… under perfectly clear skies nearly the whole way. Last month, on my return from the States, seeing the Aleutian Islands from 30,000 feet gave me that same feeling. The desire to see something new or a place few have seen is very strong.

With my current job and the amount of travel I have, most flying soon becomes routine. I realize most people only dream of visiting places around the world, hence, the popularity of TV programs such as The Amazing Race or the various Michael Palin travelogues. When I was visiting my mother a few months ago, I left my passports (I have two… One is for Visas) on her kitchen counter. She asked to take a look, and just couldn’t comprehend how I could fill them up so much. A new passport lasts me 9 months, and you can add pages to US passports twice, extending my time to just over 2 1/2 years. I must admit, when I visit a new place, the first thing I do is look at the entry stamp. I also do one other thing…

There are several websites where you can make your own travel map, documenting where you have been. Now, though I’ve visited a number of places, most of my travel is to the same spots, over and over again. So, when I visit somewhere new, I update my online maps as a sort of “Souvenir”. I have never shown anyone my maps, save for Rebecca, and now, on this blog. So, here goes, with the link to the site where you can make your own maps immediately following each section.

World66 is a sort of “Wikitravel” site, www.world66.com, where you can create your own travel maps of the not only the world, but also, uniquely, European countries visited, US States visited, and Canadian provinces visited. Go to the home page and click on “My World66″ to create a map. The map borders highlight in red when you add them.

The next site is Passportstamp.com, www.passportstamp.com. Their travel map is different, in that you can add places where you only have transited, along with the ability to add multiple visits (I only add one visit per country on mine… no time to track my history). You can also compare your statistical rank with other travelers online. The Passportstamp maps also color code based on site popularity (ie: more people visit France than the Philippines).

Next, there is Trip Advisor, www.tripadvisor.com. Click on the “My trip advisor” tab and select “travel map” to make your own map. Trip Advisor’s map is different than the others… You add pins for each place you have visited, so you can add multiple cities within one country. For the Philippines, some rural areas are not well represented, but most places allow a pin.

Finally, there is Most Traveled People, www.mosttravelledpeople.com. This map is different in that you can add individual states and provinces from many countries, like Mexico, Brazil, and China.

I hope you found this posting interesting. It can be a bit of fun to keep your own travelogue. Give these links a try!

Getting a Haircut

Last week, on my way to Germany, I had a transit in Abu Dhabi. After dealing with some banking stuff, I decided to pay my old barber a visit. This barbeshop was a Bangladeshi joint, where you are offered hot chai or Arabic coffee when you walk in. So, I sit down and get a trim. This isn’t any salon… No way. These guys are old fashioned barbers… They’ll trim any ear hairs, nose hairs, eyebrows without even thinking twice. I then ask for a shave. He wields it expertly like a Samurai, with a net effect of being closer and smoother than a baby’s bum. Scalp massage, face scrubbing with this horrid-smelling Indian balm… Total damage to the wallet of around USD 5.

When I was young and new to Chicago, I was befriended by an old black man where I worked, named “Johnny B”. Johnny was a good guy, and he taught me many things. One night, we were talking after work, and he told me, “John, you know, one of the first problems black folks run into when they move into a white neigborhood is finding a place to get a decent haircut.” I didn’t think of it much at the time, but there are differences between black hair, white hair, and asian hair… Physical differences that impact the way hair is cut. In fact, my ex-wife used to be a hair dresser at Paul Mitchell… She earned big tips from Asian women because she was the only one at her salon who could cut Asian hair. Long and straight, if you goof it up, mistakes are instantly noticeable.

When I first started to travel in Asia, getting a haircut proved challenging. For some reason, I always ended up looking like either Hitler or Moe from the 3 Stooges. In fact, my stop when I was in Abu Dhabi was to fix the terrible haircut I got in Hong Kong a couple of weeks ago at a salon. I don’t like salons. Somehow, they are emasculating. I can almost feel my testicles shrink from the moment I walk in.I like BARBERS, with a pole outside, copies of Playboy and girlie posters on the walls. It’s also a good sign if they have liquor on their breath.

I’ve had some unusual incidents, too. I had a haircut in Balikpapan, Indonesia where the barber kept pouring witch hazel on my head. I think I looked like that kid from Home Alone when he did that. I also took a leap of faith once in India and got a haircut from a blind barber. He managed to cut my hair perfectly even!

Haircuts in the Philippines are a real bargain. I have seen prices as low as 25 pesos in the provinces. I have not yet found a real barber that I like in Manila yet. I’ve gone to David’s Salon a few times, under pressure from Becky, but it’s still a salon. Last time, the bakla hairdresser kept trying to mousse up my hair and spike it. I ended up paying 750 pesos for the “experience”.

Now, when I am in Abulug, I go to Charlie the Barber. Charlie’s shop is in Ballesteros, the next town over. No water. No electricity. Posters of Luningning and the other Wowowee girls on the walls. Of course, the TV is on showing some Kung Fu movie or something the whole time. My kinda shop! Charlie used to give haircuts to US military, so he knows western hair. Only 40 pesos, but he’ll appreciate drinking a cold San Miguel with you when you are done. Quite an experience… When I’ve gone there, I usually have 5 - 10 people standing outside watching the Kano getting a haircut.I also will usually get a shave there, but that straight razor could smart a bit in the heat… No worries though. I’m just going to have to try a few more little shops in Manila… I can’t run to Ballesteros every time I need a haircut.

Islamabad Travel?

I have been reflecting on life and other things the last couple of days. I was scheduled for a meeting with the Pakistan government last weekend in Islamabad and yes, I was registered to stay at the Marriott. Last week, I received a message postponing the meeting until November. If it wasn’t for that twist of fate, I might have been one of those killed or injured. It makes me think of how truly fragile life can be.

I am truly sorry for those who lost family or friends in the blast, while at the same time being thankful that I was not there. Will I go in November? Well that remains to be seen. My boss has left it at my discretion. Needless to say, I am taking measures for my own security, if I go, and have added numerous conditions of my appearance there in Islamabad. If the political situation worsens, I will not go. I have a new wife to think of. There are very severe business consequences to not going. I’m trying to move the meeting to Paris or Dubai, but it simply may not be possible… The presentation is in front of 40 people and getting everyone together will be very difficult.

Most places I visit on business are safe for travel… I’m usually in no more danger than a bad case of Delhi Belly… But there are exceptions, and, yes, I have stayed in hotels where there were previous bombings (Aden, Jakarta, Mumbai, Delhi, and Doha). All of them, except the one in Aden, added significant security after the incidents. In Aden, a bombing did not occur, but rather summary executions by rival militias during the civl war.In other words, I do not let the possibility of danger influence my behavior… If I cancel a trip, the radicals get what they want, which is fear and disruption. However, I am not reckless. It is a question of real risk versus the perception of risk. Can they be separated? I’m not entirely certain.

This piece could easily degenerate into a discussion of politics as to the why things happen or the “well you shouldn’t be going there”. As to politics, yes, I believe the US has mucked things up. Yes, I believe their actions have created more problems than have been solved. I also don’t believe that the upcoming election will change anything… There are limited options and courses of action, and someone will be angry no matter what is done.

As to the “you shouldn’t be there anyway” argument, remember that the world is largely a single economy and entity these days…Isolationism has not worked for over a century. Risk is present all over the world. The bombings in London, Spain, and New York all proved that nowhere is completely “safe” anymore.

So, I close this article with the question: “What would you do in my position?”