John Miele

Long posting again, but I hope this information is helpful. I have noticed that many people ask regularly on this blog how much it costs to move here. Well, we arrived here in mid-April of this year, and, nearly five months in, we are just about done with expenses related to the move. So, I’ll detail how much it cost us to move from the Middle East. Our experience is based on Manila… Your expenses will obviously vary in other parts of the country.

In Abu Dhabi, Rebecca and I had very few belongings… Her furniture, etc. was not worth moving, and I had a furnished executive flat and a small storage room in California, so we really had very little to move. That was the good thing… The bad thing was that we needed to buy nearly everything. We moved from the Middle East using balikbayan boxes. Advantage: Cheap and customs charges no duty. Disadvantage: It’s bloody slow and you need to plan what you may need before they arrive. Cost of 8 super jumbo balikbayan boxes (Size of a “wardrobe” box): Approx 30,000 pesos. Contents were three boxes with clothing, linens, etc., the rest contained things we bought in Abu Dhabi that are much cheaper there, like pots, small appliances, and electronics. We bought our stove, TV, and washing machine in Abu Dhabi… cost: Approx 60,000 pesos, plus 15,000 pesos freight. (I figure we saved around 30,000 pesos doing it this way).

Cost of two tickets, Etihad Airlines, coach, AUH to MNL: 60,000 pesos.

Now, we had to decide where to move.  We chose a gated community near UP Diliman in Quezon City. Subdivision is around 20 years old. 5 bedrooms (Though 2 are connected in a loft… made those into an office, and one is a small maid’s room under the stairs that we use for storage), 2 full baths. It is a middle-class Filipino community, mostly doctors (four here) or small business owners with families (I am the only “Kano” here, but, on the plus side, one of the “Wowowee” girls lives a few houses down! Just kidding, Rebecca! A most horrible neighbor.  ). Rent, on 120 sq. meters: 18,000 pesos per month, one year lease, with option to buy at the end of year one. Selling price: 3.5 million pesos. Three months security deposit plus first month rent to move in. (72,000 pesos). Association fees of 2,000 pesos per quarter. We chose this location for one reason: Our neigbor and landlady is a very long-term friend of Becky, and she has been very helpful with this move. Becky is not alone and near friends when I travel. They also watch the house for us. I had the option to buy right away, but I will not buy property sight unseen. The house is cement construction (NOT cinder blocks), with sheet metal roof, a very few wooden interior walls, no insulation and plywood ceilings. Filipino style. Pictures are at the end of the post so you can get an idea of what 18,000 a month buys you in Manila.

Utilities were (First month, including deposits):

Electric (3,000 pesos), Water (200 pesos), Cell Phones (2 cards plus 500 pesos load each: 1,200 pesos), Cable TV (2,000 pesos…deposit plus around 800 per month), Internet from Smart (3,000 pesos… Cost of modem, installation, first month use). We originally opted not to take a landline telephone, but we are adding a line for business from PLDT, so add 2,000 pesos… 3 to 4 month wait right now in Manila).

Now, when you rent in the Philippines, any “improvements” are at your expense. Also, unlike rentals or apartments in the States, you usually need to provide your own appliances. Many of these things I have never had to buy before on any flat. We added: a steel security gate (20,000 pesos), changed locks on EACH inside door (3,000 pesos), installed plumbing fixtures (2,000 pesos, including toilet seats that were NOT included in the unit), bought a refrigerator (25,000 pesos), installed a water heater (6,000 pesos… NOT standard in the RP), 4 window aircon units (average 15,000 each… office, sala, each bedroom…60,000 pesos total), fans (For the rooms without AC, 5,000 pesos), drapery material and hardware (15,000 pesos, but Rebecca made them, so no labor cost), 2 LPG tanks (2,000 pesos with regulators), dishes (3,000 pesos with forks, kitchen knives, rice cooker, etc).

Finally, we had no furniture… Had to buy it for all the rooms. Total cost, mid-level quality, mostly Filipino-made:

one queen-sized bed, one sofa, one love seat, one entertainment center (TV), one dining table with chairs(6 ppl), one double futon, two bookcases (office), two office desks, two office chairs, one coffee table, one end table, two bakers racks, one sewing table with chair…. Total cost 375,000 pesos. Add in bed linens and bathroom linens (4,000 pesos).

So, after all is said and done, here’s what it cost us to move to Manila and maintain a “middle class” lifestyle:

Shipment of boxes                                                        30,000

Appliances plus shipping in AUH                                  75,000

Air Tickets                                                                     60,000

Lease Move-in                                                               72,000

Association fees                                                              2,000

Utilities                                                                          11,400

Appliances, fixtures, improvements                            141,000

Furniture and linens                                                     379,000

Grand Total                                                  770,400 Pesos or, US$16,748  

Was it cheaper than the US? I think so for a comparable standard of living. Particularly rent and the cost of furniture (We didn’t buy that particle board stuff… only wood. Not really much more expensive here for good furniture versus junk). Notice that transportation is missing. I have shopped for a car, but am still deciding. Also missing is household help. Rebecca does not want a maid, at this point in time. Figure 5,000 per month minimum for a maid, plus food and for a driver, figure at least 7,000 per month for a full time driver. If you have a Filipino spouse, you may have relatives willing to assume those roles. Currently, our landlady has four maids, and we occasionally use them at a cost of 200 - 300 pesos per day for help with laundry, etc.    

Our home

Sala

Clean Kitchen

Master bedroom

Filipino bathrooms are small

My side of our home office

There are three sites in the Philippines that are sacred to most Roman Catholic Filipinos: Our Lady of Piat, Santo Nino in Cebu, and the Black Nazarene in Quiapo. There is also a fourth site, not as well known, that I heard about up in Abulug… I’ll get to that in a little bit. First, some background on the other three sites.

Piat is in the Cagayan Valley, around 50 kms. from Tuguegarao. There is a church on top of a hill, with the town below. Here’s a photo I took of the church and the representation of Our Lady of Piat:

The Church at Piat

Beautiful stained glass windows

Out Lady of Piat. The image is always backlit, so, poor photo.

Lighting candles at Piat

This is a place of pilgrimage and absolute faith for the miracles that occurred there. What happened there? Essentially, in 1624, after the Cagayan Valley suffered four years of drought, the friars urged the local people to convert and pray for relief. The relief then came, and a famine was averted. The friars commissioned a statue to be made as thanks for the miracle, the present image was made in Macao, and brought to Piat. Numerous other miracles have occurred over the years, including an incident on the Abulug River in the 1730’s. A boat carrying pilgrims from Pamplona encountered weather, and the passengers were capsized and were being drawn out to sea, away from the river mouth. An image of Our Lady of Piat then appeared and the weather broke, allowing the troubled passengers to swim to safety. Finally, the site of the image is supposed to heal the sick. There have been numerous documented cases over the years where hopelessly ill people went to Piat and were cured after staying there some weeks or months. Rebecca’s mother is among those who believe that she was cured when she was very sick in her youth. Was she? Who can tell for sure. There are simply some things that are better left to faith.  

The next three sites are all related to Magellan. First, there is Santo Nino, in Cebu. Santo Nino is a representation of the infant Jesus, given by Magellan to the local Rajah in Cebu when he landed in 1521. Again, numerous miracles have been attributed to Santo Nino over the years, and the little statue in the church in Cebu is regarded as sacred by most Filipinos. Here is a photo of the Basilica of Sto Nino e Cebu:

Sto Nino de Cebu

In Quiapo, there is a statue of Christ called the “Black Nazarene”. This statue was purchased by a Spanish friar in Mexico in 1606 and brought to Manila. The church burned down in the early years, but the statue survived, becoming black in appearance. Each year in Quiapo, on Three Kings, hundreds of thousands of people participate in a procession through the streets of Quiapo, hoping to touch the statue and receive blessings. Here’s the Magellan angle: Though the purchase of the statue in Mexico is well-documented, there is a belief by many that the statue was originally carried by Magellan, who intended to give it to the native people, but he was killed at the Battle of Mactan before he could finish converting the natives. Elcano supposedly still had this statue in the holds of the ship when he returned to Spain…. Now, fast forward to the fourth site I mentioned….

The statue returned to Spain by Elcano was supposedly one of a pair, neither of which were given away. The friar who bought the Black Nazarene in Mexico possibly purchased two statues, and one is sitting in a small house in Abulug. How did it get there? No-one knows for sure, except that it was purchased in Macao in 1822 by the Governor of Cagayan Province and returned to the Philippines to his local parish, in Abulug. The statue was several hundred years old at that point in time, and the Macanese traders stated that they bought it in the Philippines and that the same artist made the statue. The statues do look the same, size, shape, everything. Is the story true? It is really not verifiable, but the people in Abulug believe it to be true. Every year, during Holy Week, the statue is brought through the town to St. Thomas Aquinas church in a procession attended by people from all over the Cagayan Valley and Ilocos Norte. The statue is very, very old (at least 1822, where the records begin)… Of that, there is no question. The people of Abulug also believe that this statue was carried by Magellan and that it has returned “home”, where it belongs. In any event, there are some photos below. If you want to see the statue, ask anyone in town to take you there…There are no street names or numbers. It is housed in a little shrine building next to the caretakers house, where the change its clothes, dust it, and open it up to anyone who wishes to pray. Give the caretaker a few Pesos and you can have a look, pray, and touch its’ feet.

The location of the "Second Black Nazarene"

The Black Nazarene of Abulug

The Black Nazarene

This posting is very personal and very long. I know many readers of this blog are dating a Filipina, engaged, or in a relationship with a Filipina. Here’s our story. In my last posting, I mentioned that Rebecca and I were in Abulug last weekend. We were there for a very specific reason: Our interview with Father Carlos, to say prayers at Piat (Next posting), and the trip to the municipality to apply for our marriage licence.

The start of the new journey will be our married life together. The long road is what it took to get here. I’ll explain. Rebecca is what you would call very traditional… She has very simple needs and wants, and a very strong character and personal faith. I have been married two times previously, and was technically still married when we first dated. I was traipsing around the world and, quite frankly, the travel took a very heavy toll on my marriage. Rebecca was working in Abu Dhabi, supporting her family, with her brother and roommates. Her day consisted of work, cook, clean, sleep, start over again… Very little time for a social life or anything other than making a living. Not very exotic or glamorous, eh? I knew Becky for three years, since she worked for an agent of my company. We used to flirt a little, talk, and so on, when I was in town on business. I had a meeting that was postponed and ended up coming to Dubai early from Kuwait. I thought, I have a free day, Rebecca never goes anywhere, I’ll see if she wants to play tourist for the day. I was soundly rejected. Three more times rejected. About a month later, her friend Razel found out that I asked her out, and, after much convincing from Raz and several other ladies in her life, Rebecca said “yes”.  Our first “date” was in Dubai: Lunch at the Kempinski Hotel (Tres chic!).

A bit about the UAE: There are seven Emirates in the UAE, each one similar to a US state, as far as government goes. There is a national defence and banking system, but each Emirate largely operates under its own local laws. Dubai is what is regarded as a “moderate” islamic state. Abu Dhabi is under shariah… Not very moderate by any standards and not as moderate as the tourism department may lead you to believe.

Problem: as our relationship developed, we were subject to local laws. No big deal? Well, when you are unmarried and trying to live your lives, it can be a big deal. Think, no holding hands in public, certainly no kissing, and, should you be caught in flagrante delicto by anyone, at any time, official or not, you could face deportation and public lashing (200 lashes for BOTH of you).

We fell in love… Desperately in love. The “once in a lifetime” kind of love. We were willing to take the risks. She cried for hours every time I had to leave town on business. She prayed for strength at the one church in Abu Dhabi. She went to confession and the priest yelled at her, telling her she was going to hell because being with me was a mortal sin. She faced a choice: stay with me or leave me. She stayed. We regarded ourselves a married, even though not yet legal. That feeling is stronger than ever now and grows stronger every day.

Another problem: Her boss, my former business colleague and her sponsor (a BIG deal there), was not happy that she was heavily involved with an American. How unhappy? Well, she was beaten up (It took all my strength and character not to go down there and dispense “cricket bat justice” on that SOB!), and death threats were made against both of us, along with her brother (Who still works for the same company). Remember, this was NOT America, NOT the Philippines… Going to local authorities means you are “fornicating” (Why else would an upstanding Arab male make threats against you unless you are doing something wrong and contrary to Islam?). Not an option. There was very little we could do except what I did: I involved the American Embassy. They made it quite clear to the person involved, in person, that our personal safety was being watched and that if anything were to happen to either of us, there would be the severest consequences. They also stated, very clearly and in NO uncertain terms, that they would represent Rebecca, on my behalf, to the Philippine Embassy. That is why, a few months back, I said in one of Bob’s posts that I will always register with the Embassy. Needless to say, he backed off. We are here in the RP, safe, and continuing our lives. I will reserve comments about the people in the Middle East… They will not be pleasant or appropriate in this forum. Let’s just say that I am bitter, and that, after knowing how Rebecca and other OFWs struggle and are treated, I hold little regard for anyone there.

Finally, last December, I was involved in a traffic accident with a local while Rebecca and her brother were in the car with me. After several hours in the police station, the “investigation”, if you could call it that, determined that charges of “fornication” could be brought against myself and Rebecca. See, she was fully clothed, and nothing was going on. However, we were not married. The only reason those charges were never filed was that her brother was in the car with us.

I will always have the greatest respect towards Becky. She risked, in order to be with me: Personal safety, her family’s welfare, her brother’s job, her personal welfare, her living wage. After we left the UAE and returned to the RP, she faced the adjustments Bob has frequently written about. Not least of which was the following reality: For the first time in her adult life, Rebecca was without a regular salary. Also, for the first time in her life, Becky has a partner who treats her as an equal, with all the respect and love that I can. Money is not an issue, but other issues have arisen. Part of one’s identity is the job that they do. Becky has had to adjust to the fact that I do not regard her as an expense. She has always been self-sufficient. A survivor. Now she is relying on someone else for the first time in her life. That takes a hell of a lot of trust. It is something that we are facing that we never anticipated. Add in differences in social background (She worries if she is “posh” enough for me to introduce her in a business setting… She most certainly is!!!!). Differences in culture. Differences in values. Differences in language and meaning. What keeps us together is love, and it is strong.

Last year, I was introduced to Rebecca’s family. I think of them as my family and worry about their welfare. I realized why Rebecca insisted I visit Abulug first, before accepting my proposal. She was away for 23 years. She NEVER, even for a moment, considered bringing a boyfriend home with her, unless he was THE ONE. Why? Because it would impact her reputation to her family and to the town (Everyone is related there, in some way, shape, or form… Gossip is rampant). Another fact: at that time in our relationship, if either her mother, or older brother, said “NO”, she would have left me, regardless of personal loss or happiness. That cultural thing again. I was accepted, not certain if liked, but accepted.

Fast forward to today. We are having a church wedding. October 8, a Wednesday. Strange day to choose, huh? There is a reason… We are trying our best to keep it simple, and not show off. Very important in order to keep sanity and the requests for money to a minimum. We have told everyone that we do not want any gifts. If they feel they must, help Father Carlos and the local parish. That is very difficult to do in a town the size of Abulug. Especially, since everyone is related, you can’t really invite one and not invite all. So, we are holding a very large lunch, with a very small evening ceremony to follow. 800 to 1,000 for lunch, 20 for the ceremoy. Menu is 8 pigs, 40 chickens, 50kg of buko pandan, cassava cake, wedding cake, and adobo. Traditional Ybanag food, and we are discussing a small band to play the Ybanag songs Becky remembers when she was a little girl. No alcohol (That creates its own problems in a small town). I need to be baptized. We have interviewed, done the paperwork. For a church wedding, the priest must interview you and counsel you. Father Carlos is a nice guy… One of the priests who is trying his best under not the easiest of circumstances. He also seems to really care about the people of Abulug. I need to interview with the Bishop next week for a dispensation, since I am still a pagan in the eyes of the church. No matter. Becky’s faith is important to her and part of who she is, regardless of my feelings, so, I look at it this way: If I love her, I’ll do whatever it takes.

Finally, since it is a church wedding, part of the licence application process (around 500 pesos) is family planning counseling, done at the municipality. Very funny dialogue. The lady sits down (a cousin of Rebecca) and says, “I guess I don’t need to go too much into the ways to plan a family, since you are both over 40.” I looked her straight in the eye and said, “I never learned. Go into great detail and don’t skip bits. How does the bird keep from getting stung by the bee?” The blush on her face and the chuckle from the registrar made it all worthwhile.

Some pictures:

Razel (The one who brought us together... our "Chaperone")

At Piat for prayers

St. Thomas Aquinas Church, Abulug (Where we will be married)

This posting is quite long, but I hope you find it interesting. Take one look at me and you will instantly know I am not what you would call a “picky eater”.

This weekend Rebecca and I were in Abulug and a thought struck me: The people there, regardless of how poor, will never starve. Why? The Cagayan Valley is composed of rich, alluvial soil that will grow practically anything. With the tropical climate, there is nearly always something ready to be harvested. Additionally, nothing is wasted, and by that, I mean NOTHING. Every part of every animal or plant is used, sometimes in surprising ways. Additionally, since Abulug is located where a river meets the sea, a nearly endless supply of fish, shellfish, and seaweed is available, sometimes yours just for the taking. Therefore, when it comes to food, Rebecca’s family is, perhaps, as much as 90% self-sufficient. As a matter of fact, looking through their pantry, you will see very few pre-packaged or purchased goods: normally things like cooking oil or wheat flour or the occasional treat for the kids. Now, what does her family eat? Well, here’s a picture of the spread at a birthday party last year: Nearly everything was “home grown”:

Now, this was a special occasion… Most everyday Cagayano food is what Rebecca and her family call “chop chop, boil boil”. Lots of fish, meat, or vegetables chopped up and cooked in soup with vinegar and fish sauce. There is always rice. Becky’s favorite dish is small fish (ANY kind!) boiled with bitter gourd, lady fingers (okra), or aubergine. There is absolutely nothing unhealthy with that (Though, I have to admit, even though Rebecca is an outstanding cook, that I can only eat Pinoy for a few meals before I want something “Western”.) 

So, a list of what they grow on her farm:

Chickens, Ducks, Turkeys: Meat, Eggs.

Goats: Meat, Milk.

Pigs: Meat.

At slaughtering time, you can either do it yourself, send the animals to the abattoir and they will slaughter them, or you can sell it to the abattoir and they will sell the meat on “slaughtering day”. Saturday morning, we wanted to buy some beef, so we went to the abattoir… Here’s a picture. Remember I said they waste nothing? The little bags with yellow stuff in them? That is bile from the cows. It is made into a soup in the Cagayan Valley. The pinkish meat in the background is carabao meat… Tastes like beef, but a little “gamey”.

From the sea? Well, in addition to the prawn ponds (2), they get Bangus (Milkfish, one pond), Tilapia (a pond), Clams and cockles (Free…Just dig them up), Snails (also free), Crabs (Trap them), Anchovies, Sardines, Sherry (I can’t remember the Ybanag name… Like a sea bream), Red Snapper, Parrot Fish, Mud Fish (like a catfish, but small), Rabbit Fish (one of my favorites), Angel Fish, Eels, Belt Fish (A really funny looking fish… really looks like a long, silver belt), Lapu-Lapu (If they are lucky), Gulaman (A type of seaweed… makes a type of gelatine, just like in Halo Halo…also free), Squid, and Cuttlefish. There are also dozens of other types that normally go into “chop chop boil boil”.

What about vegetables? Well, the following are all grown on Rebecca’s farm and her Uncle’s farm:

Rice, Cassava, Coffee, Cacao, Taro, Pandan, Passionfruit, Long Beans, Guava, Pineapple, Avocado, Jackfruit, Calamansi, Pomelo, Okra, Aubergines, Tomato, Betel Nut (For chewing), Coconuts (For oil, eating, and thousands of other uses), Papaya, Kan Kong, Wild mushrooms (We went picking this weekend), Bananas (Green for cooking and yellow for snacking), Bitter gourd, Bitter melon, Rambutan, Atis (A funny looking Guava-type thing), Lychee, Oregano, Curry tree (Rebecca and I planted this… She learned to cook Indian food while in the Middle East), Lotus, Bamboo (for the shoots, and household construction needs), Palm Heart (for upset stomach… Different from the canned things from Brazil… VERY bitter), Sweet potatoes, Horseradish (for the leaves rather than the roots… Flavoring for soup and it is a very different taste), ginger, palm fruit (for eating), and Nipa (for thatch and making wine). Some pictures of the different plants and vegetables (Not all shown… Not everything is harvestable now:

Oyster Mushroom

Rice

Cacao

Rambutan

Atis

Picking Okra

Passion Fruits... They grow on a vine that wrapped its way up to the top of the tree.

Sweet potatoes

Finally, since this posting is, in part, about self-sufficiency and not wasting anything. There was a little construction going on at the house. The boards were hewn, by hand, from tree trunks and driftwood (mouth of a river… free lumber and keeps the beach clean). Note the pile of sawdust. This was made into charcoal for cooking.

Sawdust = Cooking fuel

Different title for a posting, eh?

Little story… A couple of weeks ago I had to go to the Embassy to obtain a verification for legal capacity to marry. Not really a big deal, but we got down there early that day, just in case. Well, it only took about 30 minutes, and Rebecca and I were in Intramuros and had a few hours to kill (I was flying out later that day). So, we played “Tourist” in Intramuros that morning… Neither one of us had ever been there. You see, prior to living here, I was always here on business and Rebecca was only in Manila from the airport to the bus station on her leave home. Also, I guess it’s a little like my relatives in New York who have lived there their entire lives and never visited the Statue of Liberty. So, we walked over to Fort Santiago and Manila Cathedral.

I have always been interested in History from the time I was a little kid. As a matter of fact, one of the first things I did after moving to the RP was buy a book on Philippine History. I look at it like this: If I am going to live here, I should try and learn as much about the history of the place as possible. I knew a little about RP history, but not all that much. However, history can give a great understanding of current issues…. WHY are things the way they are? (both good and bad). How can things change for the future? 

What surprised me was Rebecca’s reaction when I brought home this book. She said, “You will probably know more about Philippine History than I do when you are done reading it!”  That’s an interesting comment. Yes, she was taught Philippine History in school (I was not). Yes, she sees the pictures on the money every day (I do too, but do you ever pay attention?). Yes, she is a very smart woman with a lot of knowledge (Far more intelligent than I am). However, growing up, her family never took vacations (Too busy making a living). Manila, where the museums and such are, was just an annual, arduous shopping trip to buy clothing and farm equipment. There was no such thing as cable TV in those days, and little exposure to history outside of stories her grandmother told her.

Her statement got me thinking: How many Filipinos really know their own history and appreciate the struggles of their ancestors? Is knowledge of the past some knowledge that is valued? I am not trying to be facetious or insulting here. There are many, many Americans who are completely ignorant of their own history. I wonder, however, if the strain of poverty relegates history to the “useless knowledge” category here. Rebecca told me, very matter-of-factly, “If you are not sure if you can buy rice today, do you really care about Rizal, Quezon, Bonifacio, Lapu-Lapu, or any of the other Filipino heroes?” I had to admit, my answer was “No”.

That being said, back to the story. We walked over to Fort Santiago, and I could tell the old high school knowledge was coming back to Rebecca. She felt national pride, which was nice to see.

They have the very well presented Rizal Museum at the Fort, and you can walk along the old walls and ramparts. You can take a calesa ride, and visit the memorial to the victims of the Japanese occupation. If any readers have some time in Manila, it is well worth the time to go down there, if you have not been. A very informative and pleasant day. The museum staff deserve kudos for maintaining a good, informative place to learn history, under, I’m sure, a very tight budget. A few pictures from Fort Santiago…I hope they are interesting to you.: