We have decided to make a major change
Many people misinterpreted my September 19 article
Back in September, I published an article about whether Feyma and I would move back to the USA. As I said in the article, it is something we have been considering for several years. During these years, when we have considered moving back, we have always ended up deciding to stay in the Philippines.
In our discussions in August and September, we again decided to stay in the Philippines, but we also decided we would travel to the USA every couple of years or so.
Since that article was published, an endless number of people have mentioned to me that they read that we were moving back to the USA, but as I say, that is not what the article said at all, in fact, it said the opposite.
Then came October
In October, we again revisited the topic. Feyma was in the USA at the time, just preparing things for her trip home to the Philippines (She arrived home on October 27 for those interested). While we were chatting, Feyma asked me if I would be interested in returning to live in the USA. I told Feyma that I was open to discussing it, and we talked, asked each other questions, and so on.
In 2017 and 2018, Feyma went to the USA (mostly Alaska) and worked for 6 months each year. For haters who have emailed me about this… it was Feyma’s choice to do this, not ideal for me, but I was supportive of my wife doing what she wished to do. Feyma explained to me that after spending significant time back in the USA over the past 2 years, she realized how much she missed the USA. Feyma lived in the USA for 10 years after our marriage. She told me that she feels more at home in the USA now, and that made me think.
I have not been back to the USA for nearly 19 years
Since moving to the Philippines in early 2000, I have never been back to the USA. I never really felt a desire to do so or had a real reason to go back. However, in recent years I have been feeling a bit of a pulling to go back home, at least to visit. After listening to Feyma talk about her desire, it made me start wanting to go back.
I started thinking about some of the drawbacks of life in the Philippines. Yes, there are drawbacks. There are a lot of downsides to living in the Philippines. But, there are also drawbacks of life in the USA too. There are drawbacks to every location in the world. No place is perfect.
Continuing husband and wife discussions
So, after discussing this over several days with Feyma, I agreed with her. I was ready to move back to the USA.
At first, it was more about supporting Feyma and giving her what she desired. I was fine with that. Feyma and I have been married for 28+ years. She has always followed me, done what I wanted to do.
In the 90’s, I decided that I wanted to move to the Philippines. It was not something that Feyma was interested in, but after some extended discussion, she agreed to follow what I wanted.
In recent years (kind of since my near death from heart disease), I have been trying to “re-invent” myself, or you could say improve myself. I have changed a lot of the way I handle things, how I handle relationships (especially with my wife) and other things about myself. I feel, and Feyma agrees, that I have been pretty successful on this journey. Giving Feyma a chance to take the lead is something that I am enjoying. The decision to move back to the USA is a big part of that.
As time went on…
After making the decision to give Feyma a chance to follow the path that she wants, we kept talking about it, making plans, etc. I started getting more excited about it. At this point, I am really ready to make the move as soon as possible. I am excited to go back.
More articles and information coming
This week, I will write an article on this topic each day telling more about our plans, reasons for our decision, and so on. I think we have made a good decision and will have a good and successful life in the United States.
In some ways, it is a bit scary to make such a move after living here in the Philippines for nearly 2 decades. But, it is also exciting, and filled with possibilities!
So, come back and visit each weekday (Philippine time) this week for more about why Bob & Feyma Martin are moving back to the USA!
Sir Bob;
To move or not to move is a decision, that only you and your family should make and be damned what anyone else thinks. But where ever you settle, back in the “Land of the big PX” (A military term meaning mall sized Post Exchange’s on US Base’s)
Let us know the fate of LiP, I see no reason why you can’t continue from where ever you live.
But bottom line, I wish you all the best for you and yours. Fair winds and following seas!
My article on Friday is all about what will happen to LiP, so that will be covered. It is a decision that I have yet to 100% decide, but I have options.
Yeah, I agree 100%, Paul, it is a decision for Feyma and me, not others. I still value people’s opinions. But, the final decision is ours, and we have made it after much consideration. I have already been told that I am a hypocrite because I have always said I had a great life here, and now am leaving. I don’t consider that hypocritical at all.. it is just time for a change in life, that’s all. I do love the Philippines and have enjoyed living here. I am just ready to try a different adventure after nearly 2 decades. 🙂
Bob – I hope you will discuss the option of splitting time living in each place. This is our plan, but we have to sort out the one item of biggest cost which is health insurance when in the U.S. Love to hear your thoughts on this topic. I anxiously await your coming articles!
Hi Michael. I won’t really be getting into the split time or snowbirding thing. I have, honestly, always thought that to be a poor solution (and have written about that many times over the years). The reason I don’t consider it a good solution is because making the cultural shift to the Philippines is not easy and takes time. If every time you are just starting to make the change, mentally, you turn around and go back for 6 months, you will never be able to make the shift. That is how I feel. Others, including you, may think differently, and there is nothing wrong with that.
I’ve been in the Phillippines for nearly five years and moved here because low educated liberals are ruining America. I’m proud of American history but ashamed of its current day form.
I’m excited for you in chasing the dream you desire but I can say for me a return to the U.S.A. will likely never happen.
Never, say never. (LOL) I’ve lived here since 1993. Will I ever go back to live in the USA? I don’t “THINK” so, but fate has a way of changing all plans. Spread my ashes on Subic Bay!
Completely agree and this is why I included “likely” before never. I have considered taking a trip of a couple months to America at some point but I’m even wishy-washy on that.
Currently in Angeles with a nice house completely paid for and have pondered buying another in Subic Bay. We might someday become neighbors.
Hi Paul – yep, you just never know. I moved here at a young age (38) and I have been here for nearly 2 decades. I just feel it is a good time to make a life change!
I thought the same for many years too, Paul. Never wil go back to live in the USA. But, like you say, never say never. I am now excited to make the change.
exactly the same here- 8 years and dont ever care to go back
I felt the same at 8 years, even 15 years here. I’m just ready for a new adventure.
How scott do you suport yourself ?
Hi Paul. I’ve been here for nearly 2 decades. I think I’ve taken in all I can when it comes to the Philippines. I have loved it. I’m just ready to take in something different now. I have some business and personal plans that will do much better being US based. My wife really wants to live in the USA> I wish you the best with your life in the Philippines. I had a great life here…. I think I will have the same in our new destination.
I agree with you totally and always have the big move in the back of my mind but I can’t make near the income in PI that I can in KY.
I always have my Pinoy Paradise as the US seems to be getting less and tolerant under the guise of eradicating intolerance.
Just like when people move to the Philippines, you should go on an exploratory trip. I’m on my second extended trip back to the USA and I can’t wait to get back to the Philippines. Things, in general, are far worse than I remember from 2006.
I’ll be leaving Florida in February and heading to Hawaii. I don’t know when I’ll leave again, but it will be before my ACR I-Card expires. I’m currently visiting an Aunt near DC (for three weeks) and it’s cold. I hate the cold.
We are about 80 to 90% of the way to making a final destination in the USA, RT. We have 3 locations in mind, which will be revealed tomorrow. All three in are in the same general part of the USA, and also an area where I have never lived before. I am looking forward to the new experiences.
Hi Bob, I have been considering the same for Canada right now – tried it twice earlier (alone) but was not to my liking. Now I have been married to a Filipina for 6 years, I think it would be fun and educational for her. Unfortunately Canada is a bit restrictive in admitting Filipinas with no previous experience in working and living in Canada.
I keep thinking of it, but I then think of how warm it is here in the Philippines – all year round! That has many benefits – both economic and healthfuil. Medical is expensive in all countries, and is improving quickly here in the Philippines.
I think I will sit back at the local gathering place, have a cold San Mig Pilsen and think about it!
Hi John. The move is easy for us, since Feyma has US Citizenship. No hassles at all. Tomorrow in my next article I will talk about cold weather and such. We found a solution for that. 🙂 It would be harder to solve that in Canada, though, LOL. Eh?
I can’t complain at all about the healthcare here. I have nearly died 3 times during my 19 years here. Stroke, heart attack, and a quadruple bypass. I had great care each time. In fact, if we did not move to the Philippines when we did, I think I would already be dead. Too much stress there. But, I have learned to live differently and changed my lifestyle a lot, another credit to the Philippines.
Good luck whatever path you take, John. Nice to hear from you.
Bob and Feyma home is where you make it. Life back is US is not the same as you may remember . Things have changed . I wish the US was still like 1970’s however it is not. We all change over time. Go back and check it out before making any move. God Bless.
Home is certainly where you make it. Feyma has been back there 6 months each of the last 2 years. She wants to move, and I support her on that. She has always followed me, I am ready for her to do what she wants, I owe her that. We appreciate your thoughts, though.
True.
It’s not the same as when you remember.
Yes, I have said it dozens of times already.. it is not the same place it was 20 years ago, no place would be.
Surprising, but I am sure you have been very thoughtful in your decision-making. I will be interested to see how this plays out.
And remember if you come to California to visit, we must connect!
Hey, Tom.. I was going to email you and ask if you could prepare a room for us. LoL
For sure, you at the top of my list of people I HAVE to connect with!
We are both looking forward to a lot of new experiences.
Well Bob, my asawa believes you’re making the right decision. We only lived in the Philippines for six years, but returning to the U.S. was a good choice for us. My wife lived in the states for 30 some years before we moved to Dinalupihan, Bataan in May, 2012. We decided on Hudson, Florida for our new location. We are both happy and both blessed. Hope you and Feyma feel the same.
I didn’t think this before, but I think we are also moving in the right direction. I am excited for the move now, can’t wait. Thanks for sharing your experiences.
If I ever did go back it would only be to Florida, I spent many a happy year there even if they can’t count votes properly. NO STATE INCOME TAX TOO!
LoL, but you gotta put up with all of those hurricanes! LoL
Where ever you end up enjoy your lives together. One never knows how much time we have for that. Time is the one precious commodity none of us can afford to waste. Where we spend it is a lot less relevant than who we spend it with! Best of luck my friends. 😉
Tomorrow, I will be revealing where we will settle, at least 2 different places that we are considering. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
Hi Bob,
I heard you may be going back here to the States. God bless your decision whatever it is. But if you do go back here and need a faithful worker to help any of your businesses back there Id be very happy to do that… ie. customer service, mgmt, etc.
Thanks, Tom. I’ll keep that in mind. Yes, we are going back to the US in the not too distant future.
It has been pointed out before that if you are miserable in one country, there is a good chances you will be miserable in another country. And Vice-versa. With the world economy a lot of things are cheaper in the USA than they are in the PH (food, fuel, & electricity for instance) Hospital and Doctors being the big exception. In my case being over 67 years old, even that, being virtually free in the USA, is cheaper, As for adjusting to life in one country or another I think you and your family are already adjusted either place so moving back and forth would be like changing you shirt. Good luck to you in your new life and stay happy where ever you are. Santa Clause is still in big demand in the USA.
That is so true! Moving won’t make you happy. I am happy now, and I think I will be happy in the US too.
Healthcare is one of our major concerns. But, we have some plans that, I think, will work out!
Thanks Loren.
In many ways it feels here like Gensan. Lots of work here lots of fruits and pi foods but each year I can’t wait to get back to Philippines.
From the Big Island Hawai’i Mark
Cost of living in HI is much higher than GenSan, though. 🙂
Bob, Wow, what a surprise, but either way know that I support what ever your decision is on this. But one big question I have. It was easy getting things ship here from the US via LBC. But how do you send items back to the US, I have never seen any ads nor do I know of any company that do this and is there any trouble with customs on household good and books. I am just curious.
Stand by, Luke.. I have an article about shipping things coming later this week. But, basically, if you want to ship back to the US be prepared to pay probably 10x the price or more.. or just don’t ship anything. lol
I understand, but I have a few items, maybe 3 to 4 boxes that I might want to send to my kids. But I have lots of time
Well was I surprised? Yeah, you bet. Especially considering the discussions we had just before Mita and I went back to the SA on our Florida trip. And you’ve probably read what I wrote when we came back to the Philippines a week or so ago. For _now_, moving back to the USA is not for us, but I can fully understand you and Feyma’s decision and Mita and I support you all the way. Wishing you the very best of luck …. even though I’m happy here in the Philippines after one week back, I already miss the USA, LoL.
I was surprised too, Dave. LoL… Feyma kind of drove the decision, but I am behind her on it completely. I am also very happy here, but we just feel ready for a change of scenery.
Yes, I did read your article about your choice, and I support you as well. It is such an individual choice for each of us. I am not “giving up” on the Philippines (as many will say and think), I love the Philippines. I just want to try something new. I also have some business plans that I think would be much easier and more successful if I were based in the USA.
Good luck to you, Dave. 🙂
Have Fun in your new adventure! Moving is always a challenge. Good Luck, Bob and Feyma in your projected move!
Thank you, David. Yes, there are always challenges to face, especially in such a big move and life change. But, we look forward to those!
Well Bob I’m a little surprised I’ve been reading your blog for years never say never my wife and I are moving back to the Philippines next spring I have a feeling we’re going to be moving back and forth between the Philippines in the states every ten years or so are you going to be moving to Alaska or do you have another location of mind
Hi Nathan. No, we will not be moving to Alaska. We will reveal our destination location in tomorrow’s article! Alaska is just too cold after nearly 2 decades in the Philippines. LoL
Whatever happens Bob I wish you and yours the best of luck. To borrow a phrase from Paul which I think is appropriate, Fair winds and following seas to you both.
Thank you Jack!
I was always wondering when you would decide on your pending move back to the US. The Philippines is a wonderful place when you have your health but and expensive one when your not as young as you once were. Best wishes to you both on your eventual return home. Incidentally we have decided on the same course of action next April to be exact.
Our move really has nothing to do with health. My health is great now, and for certain health care is WAY, way more expensive in the US than the Philippines. Interesting that you have decided the same, and we are on a similar timeline too. All the best to you, Jim. I hope it works out well for each of us.
Hi Bob, this news certainly comes to me as a surprise. I wish you and your family all the best in returning to the USA. Your websites over the years have always provided me with informative articles that greatly enhanced my many visits to Iligan City, Mindanao.
Hi Bob. I figured that many would be surprised by this. 🙂 I am glad that I was able to help you make the decision to come here for a visit, and go on to enjoy it so much here over the years! Maybe I’ll swing by and pay you a visit in NY some day! 🙂
Hi Bob. Ivy and I wish you the best of luck and happiness in your move. Having lived there until very recently, I think I can safely say that much has changed in the past two decades. I’m sure that you will adjust, however, and see it all as a great new adventure. I am eager to hear what your impending move means for the future of the website. Good luck and smooth sailing always…
Thank you, David. Oh, I know that a lot of things will be different than I knew 20 years ago! On Friday I have an article about the future of the website. I am not completely decided on that, but have a few ideas.
Pare Bob!! I am not sad but actually happy for you and Feyma. You know what’s best for the family and I support you a 101%. And of course, I am pretty sure you still have a lot of articles in store for your readers here at LIP. Always here for you!!
Thanks, Pare Avel. I am going to be making some changes on LiP, but not decided yet on what those changes will be. Glad that you feel excited and supportive. Next time you are at the Googleplex maybe a trip to visit us there! 🙂
Bob: Your choice completely and change is always exciting. Expats who have relied on your expertise will miss you, that is for sure. I read your posts before I moved here and of course still do. Whatever, congratulations and God speed. Rob
Ha ha, thanks, Rob. One way or another, LiP will still be around, I am just figuring out in what way. I will be sharing that on Friday.
In 2016 we were able to visit family in Davao after 8 years. I met my wife’s aunt who is married to a fellow Kano. Told me he’d never go back loved it been in Davao many years. He moved back last year trying to sell their home still. My wife said her aunt was tired of the new laws whatever that meant we don’t know. There not fans of Duerute either. My friend who lives near Davao told me many expats are leaving afraid that the killings will start targeting them or new laws targeting expats
Hi Brian. Ha ha… it is very common for expats to move back. Most leave way, way early, I have been here nearly 2 decades.
I like Duterte, he was our mayor for many years. I know of not a single expat that he has ever harmed.
Bob,
Like many on here we are surprised that you are moving back to the US. But I think that it’s a good decision for you and your family. We are going back at the end of January. We will be applying for Permanent Residency for Anne, as she want’s to work at least part time while we are there. We want to split our time between here and there. We will be staying in Perrysburg, Ohio near my parents who are in assisted living so we can be near them. If all goes as planned we will purchase a house by the end of 2019. Perrysburg is a small but growing city, with a great reputation, an All American city with a lower cost of living and great schools. Good luck no matter where you decide to live.
Hi Randy. Good to hear from you. Interesting that we are both on the same path, and many others have said similar in this thread.
We may end up living not all that far from you. It is not 100% certain yet, but getting close.
Good luck to you guys as well!
Bob:
I am not too surprised…. the last year or so on Facebook you have seemed… different… I guess that’s the word.
Nonetheless, It is a decision for just you and Feyma to do what you think will make you happy.
I have not told anyone this, but I am struggling with the same decision, albeit for different reasons. I do not really want to go back, but there are career implications and I am struggling to decide what is best for Juanito. His well-being is my only concern and outweighs others. I am also looking at other career options in other locations.
I have been abroad 12 years now…. I am aware of the good and bad in both places. I am leaning either towards Hawaii, or, possibly someplace smaller town or college town. Location in the USA is pretty open for me…. I have been living in the Philippines and doing my job outside of the philippines, so location is not so important.
Whatever you and Feyma ultimately decide, I wish you the best of luck..
Hi John, good to hear from you.
Others have told me, as well, that I seemed different. It doesn’t surprise me, because it was about a year and a half ago that I started trying to change myself for the better. Especially in the areas of interpersonal relationships and such.
Anyway, that aside, interesting that you are contemplating something similar. I do think it is a good move for us. I have enjoyed my life here, but I am ready to do something different now. I hope you also work things out to decide what is best for the three of you! Good luck.
Let me know if you ever pass through El Paso (though we are far from everything, making it unlikely). So far we have made the adjustment after I lived in the Philippines for 11 years. I still miss the Philippines, but I’m not sure that returning will ever be a practical option for us.
You never know, Kevin! I’ll keep that in mind!
Wow! Never thought I’d read those words on LIP! Hope it’s a good move for you. I will miss not being able to read about your daily adventures in the Philippines. Gathered a lot of good info from you too. I will say this: Don’t get rid of your place there in the Philippines – you might want to go back! I made that mistake years ago when I left Alaska. I was only gone 7 months and went back. Missed it too much. Now I know I can’t stay in the Philippines year round, I will miss Alaska too much. Hope to be a snowbird! Hope all goes well for you. Will surely miss LIP!
Hi Marty – You will still be able to read LiP… it will still be around!
We are renting in the Philippines, always have been. So, I won’t have a place here, but can always get one if I elect to return, but I would say the chances of returning are pretty close to ZERO. I am ready to move on.
Keep reading LiP, it is going nowhere! You can read about site plans on Friday this wseek.
stay away from the fire areas .. and have fun Bob an Feyma ..
Home is where you’re happy.
Congratulation with your decision, it’s not easy to do.
I am sure you both will have a great time in US, since you are “easy” to adapt new circumstances.
Since Feyma have followed you in all aspects, it’s time to give Feyma, what she want.
Nothing is permanent, if you one day want to go back here, it’s not a problem.
For me, i say i never go back to my birthplace, but never is probably a dangerous word to use. We don’t know what will happen in our lifes.
I wish all of you good luck and hopefully many happy years in your new life.
About Lip’s future: In that case the name should change right? 😀
LiP will continue. I have a sort of roadmap post coming out on Friday. I will probably blog on a different site about my readjustment to living in the States.
Hi Axel – Thanks for your comment.
I don’t expect we will return here to live. I did say I would never go back for a long time, but now I am quite excited to start a new life there! 🙂
Thanks again!
Bob, I’m astonished! Wasn’t it just three years ago that you wrote a pretty dramatic blog entry titled “Time to get out” where you advised Americans in no uncertain terms that it was time to leave the country? What caused you to make a 180-degree change in your thinking?
I see that you and Feyma have settled on Indiana. That’s an excellent choice, as would be Ohio, Kentucky or Tennessee. My filipina wife and I moved from Canada to Kentucky (outskirts of Cincinnati) 30 years ago and we have never looked back. Best of luck to you both.
LOL, Hi Mark, the thing you have to realize, even though most don’t, is that if you are a writer you sometimes have to write controversial things. That brings readers. While everything I have written in such articles is 100% true, I also took the most extreme position I could while staying with my honest feelings. That is how writing works, it brings more eyes to the article. Controversy brings more readers. 🙂
Glad you like our location choice! A lot of people have been very positive about it, and we are feeling great about it too!
Best wishes for you and your family back in the U.S
Thank you very much. Haven’t heard from you for a long time.
Been busy building a small house here on land that Linda has owned for years. Nothing fancy but just something called home here. Usually back in Davao every 2 months for banking. Will be there 1st week of Jan if you are still in country maybe we could have a coffee.